finally!!!

    WEDNESDAY 4/29/2020 7AM-the check is in the Bank!!!...that weird thing is happening-the more money I have, the stingier I am with it...I guess the celebratory thing I’m gonna do is have Dinner from Wendy’s...
9:10 AM--actually, getting breakfast from McD's was kinda special...I was kinda surprised that the only way to get anything from them is through the drive-thru...but it got the job done...
1:47 PM I've wanted to see a certain female acquaintance in the neighborhood for a LONG time...I finally saw her today and I couldn't hug her--DAMN! Such is Life...
8:10PM-nothing good on TV as far as I’m concerned...
8:46 PM-by May 5 I should have $2100 in my checking account…That boggles my mind… My plan is to pay off my Capital One credit card on May 5th or 6th...which I think leaves me with $1640 dollars...
9:27PM-- on the other hand I just made my first frivolous purchase--a $50 book on the History of the Time Tunnel TV show...which I guess leaves me with about $1590 dollars...and now I'm having second thoughts--gonna do my best to ignore those...I just hope the roomie doesn't find out...
THURSDAY 4/30/2020 10:18 PM...when I wasn't looking for it I found some pix of Debbie on my laptop...After several tries, I was able to print one on photo paper...I then took a picture of the picture and now it's on my phone...I was thinking about my upcoming "studio" sessions, but while looking for a photo of a clown (maybe I'll explain later) I found the Deb Photos...I ultimately produced a 5x7...If I frame it, I'll have some 'spainin' to do...
SATURDAY 5/2/2020 10:18 PM--I heard from CVS today...that gives me something to do tomorrow...I've got Musical stuff to do too...kinda feels like a lot...
SUNDAY 5/3/2020 9:40 AM--the SSA has sent the check to the bank, and Cap One acknowledges that much...but they haven't processed it yet...it IS Sunday after all...

and the shit keeps coming

     FRIDAY 4/24/2020 2:27 PM--I think maybe Dianne might have possibly fixed the GEICO/Cap One Bank fuck-up...I dunno for sure...maybe there's an email confirmation...
3:09 I think I fixed the GEICO fuck-up AGAIN...maybe...the Plan is to be back in bed by 3:30...
6:09 I THINK I paid my overdue GEICO bill by check...GEICO says I did, but Cap One hasn't cashed the check yet...I'll feel a whole lot better once they do...in the meantime I have no money in my pocket...but I have about $200 in my checking account, maybe a bit more...
      I took two pills, then shortly thereafter fell down the steps hitting my head on the front door...I took one or two more and went back to bed--I was out from about 3:30 until 6...I got up, and now here I am...I don't think I could be any more apathetic...
10:14 PM--such a shitty fucking day and it's not getting any better...
SATURDAY 4/25/2020 9:08 AM--it's been IMO opinion a very fast week...I'm not as fond of weekends as I used to be...all the Clonazepam I took yesterday has left me feeling rather drunk and apathetic...and God knows what else...but I kinda like it...
MONDAY 4/27/2020 8:50 AM--I tried to apply for food stamps, but I don't think I was successful in getting it done...and my computer has stopped indicating when I've spelled a word wrong...I set it up to offer suggestions on which word am I going for...that's might get annoying at some point, unless I learn to ignore it...so possibly there's something seriously wrong with my laptop...I'll just have to live with it, money is a super serious problem right now...that is, it will be when GEICO time rolls around again...
1PM--a few days ago, I got a letter from Social Security saying my NEW payment date will be the THIRD day of the Month, starting in May, which is about seven days away...which is NINE days before the GEICO payment is due!!! If I was in better shape physically I would possibly dance to the mailbox and back...this news makes me feel WAY beter than felt when I woke up this morning...and I could get the stimulus check on Wednesday...No way am I gonna hold my breath...but wouldn't it be nice?
4:49 PM--all things considered, today has been a halfway decent day...an article in the newspaper says some stimulus money is going out on Wednesday...we'll see...
6:31 PM--I spoke too soon...the roomie (landlord?) and I had a heated discussion a little while ago...and I ate a huge plate of crow and rescinded my departure plan from the FHB...















































i

an unplanned patience test

     
         SATURDAY 4/18/2020 5:54 PM--I know it has only been three days, but shouldn't I have my check yet? There was a guy in the grocery store who said he hasn't gotten his either...that helps a teeny bit to know that I'm not alone...but only a teeny bit...
SUNDAY 4/19/2020 6PM--having mac and cheese for dinner...still reading that 700 page bio of the Byrds...watched the extended cut of THAT THING YOU DO...most of the added scenes could have been left in IMO...but not all of them...
MONDAY 4/20/2020 9:05 AM--going out, later to mail something for the roomie...the big event for the day I guess...
11 PM--getting more antsy about (allegedly) recieving a stimulus check...
THURSDAY 4/23/2020 9:26 AM--supposedly the checks started going out about a week ago...I don't believe that...like the saying goes, "ya can't lose what ya never had"...
12:22 PM--somewhere around one o'clock I'm gonna get my clothes outta the dryer then go to bed...after that? who knows? Feeling especially friendless today...that's OK, I should be used to it...that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, cause it does...
about eight hours until a virtual open mike starts w/o me...it hurts...not a single one of those motherfuckers has contacted me for ANY reason, much less to educate me on how to accomplish being a part of the event...
5:42 PM--still getting the silent treatment...and it still hurts a bit...
5:47 PM--just locked my FB account up--to everyone but me...we come into the World alone, we go out alone...why not be alone the rest of the time?
7:26 PM--guess what? I still don't have my stimulus check, not that I'm expecting one anymore...
7:38 PM--and now I find out that I seemingly don't have enough money in either account to pay my GEICO bill...
7:56--actually, I THINK there's about $300 in my checking account, but GEICO seems to be having trouble authorizing the payment...what the FUCK did I do to deserve all the shit that's getting dumped on me?
FRIDAY 4/24/2020 6:27 AM-I guess it was my idea, but Dianne  and I got up before dawn and went to the grocery store… I’m sitting out in the car waiting for her to finish, then we are going home at which time I will very likely go back to bed…
   

sometimes Life just absolutely sucks

                 SUNDAY 4/12/2020 3:30--today my Life sucks...I wouldn't mind not waking up tomorrow, but I probably will anyway...Dianne is "helping" me with all the SSA/Medicaid/Medicare crap...she even asked her Father about it...he worked for the SSA for many many years...I think I threw away the envelope in which I would enclose my handwritten letter requesting that I not be enrolled in Part B Medicare...it was a "no postage needed" envelope, apparently it was a VERY important envelope, and I probably don't still have it...or if I DO, I have no fucking idea whatsoever where it is...
      Whatever that new drug is called, I took one...I think one is enough...the very first one(Friday?) hit me pretty hard; I wouldn't mind if that happens again...
MONDAY 4/13/2020 11:36 AM-- I think maybe Dianne possibly might have fixed my situation with the US Gov't...I'm gonna leave it alone, at least for a little while...Dunno when I'm going to the 1180 Lab, maybe after my nap...
9:05 PM--I'm not absolutely 100% positive that Dianne has solved the Gov't problem, but I'm gonna try to be optimistic, and forget about it...
TUESDAY 4/14/2020 6:15 PM--there's gonna be a ZOOM conference with Dianne's family in about 40 minutes or so...I dunno if I'm expected to be there, but I think my absence would be noticed by Danny or Jonathan...dunno how long the meeting will last...I will likely being watching a muted TV...
9:32 PM--and so I DID watch a muted TV while participating in the meeting...I've had more fun by myself, but those days are gone...
WEDNESDAY 4/15/2020 10:35AM--the Roomie got HER stimulus check...*I* got my SSA check...whatever...I don't feel like doing anything, except (maybe) sleeping...Dunno if I'm gonna do any "lab work" today or not...
4:38 PM--I did some, but somebody up there didn't really want me to...on the other hand I finally FINALLY got thru to Family Services...the appointment is scheduled for May 7th at 11:30...
6:00 PM--me and my Roomie are not the only ones having trouble with their banks/mobile apps...It IS rather frustrating reading about all those Flakebook users getting their checks...
THURSDAY 4/16/2020 7:50AM--so I haven't gotten the check yet, and *I* can't find a way to determine WHEN I'm gonna get it...because the IRS already HAS my direct deposit info...very frustrating...
5PM--still waiting for the check I'm allegedly gonna get...
7 PM--still waiting...I'm not convinced that I'm gonna get one...

what was it, about 24 hours?

        WEDNESDAY 4/8/2020 9:39 PM--so I've opened my FB page back up to my "Friends", I guess FB "friends" are a little better than none at all...maybe...
THURSDAY 4/9/2020 9:30 AM--getting nervous about my Doctor's appointment...gonna try really REALLY hard to NOT start babbling mindlessly...I think the meeting only lasts about a half an hour...that's enough for ME...I dunno if it will be enough for the Doctor...as for all that Medicaid/Social Security/Medicare bullshit, I will likely wait until Monday to try again...
10:18 AM less than 30 minutes to go before the zoom meeting and the laptop or the printer is fucked up...it figures...but Dianne got it done for me...that figures too, right?
4:11 PM--as incredible as it sounds my brand new Doctor (she's NOT a Doctor BTW) is leaving in May!!! Fuckin' amazing...
6:30PM--I took one of the new pills, but I can't remember when... I DO think it's working...I'm no expert, but I think it's hitting me rather hard because it's my first one; and I'm OK with that...on the other hand, if this is the way it always behaves, well, then I've gotta be careful...
FRIDAY 4/10/2020 1:05 PM--maybe later, or tomorrow, I might try to record the (somewhat new) instrumental that I was messing with earlier today, whatever it's called...
1:56 PM-I think that the pill I took about 20 hours ago is what’s making me so sleepy now...
6:48 PM--finally made it to Wendy's...had to use the drive-thru, but the job got done...
SATURDAY 4/11/2020 8:30 PM--working in the 1180 Lab definitely keeps busy if/when I get bored...CVS apparently has some drugs for me, I guess I'll go get 'em tomorrow, we'll need ice by then as well...The refrigerator's ice maker AND water dispenser aren't working...Dianne thinks it because the water filter needs replacing--BADLY...I hope she's right...
8:55 PM--ST-TOS is about an hour away...I hope to watch at least one episode of THE WEST WING after that...I really don't need to eat anything after the Dinner I had today...

I guess "some" doctors only care about money

              TUESDAY 4/7/2020 7:38 PM--first Borelli sneaks out of Family Services, now I find out Dr. Snow has apparently left Comprehensive Primary Care...what the fuck? You mean that in 2020 Doctors can't find a way to notify a (possibly) HUGE number of their patients that they are leaving? I refuse to believe that they CAN'T but I DO believe they don't feel like it...
9:30 PM--I locked everybody out of my Flakebook page--everyone but me...so I can still take a peek if/when I wanna...I don't wanna see Dr. Via on Thursday, but I'm almost outta Xanax, and I don't wanna run completely out if I can help it...
9:48 PM--in fact I just took two of 'em, which leaves me with three...my guess is she won't give me anymore, Doctors don't like it when people self-medicate, even if the patient is right...
WEDNESDAY 4/8/2020 8:10 AM--went to Safeway, got milk and Fudgsicles...now (I think) we've got about 50 pairs of 'em...I've got lotsa cheese, and enough bologna for a couple of days if not more...I think I'm gonna take a day off from trying to contact Social Security or Medicaid or whoever...unless I spontaneously make an attempt...
10:55AM--unexpectedly, the upstairs toilet is working normally again...finally, maybe, things are turning around...
3:10 PM-I walked across the street to the mailbox to deliver the birthday card that Diane sent to Mike... And I stopped off at McDonald’s and got a hot fudge sundae; now I’m sitting on the deck there’s a slight breeze and I’m in the shade and it feels OK… As soon as I’m in direct sunlight (15 minutes if that long) I’ll go inside; I took a picture of the traffic on Darnestown Road at 3 o’clock; there wasn’t any...I think that’s usually the beginning of rush hour... Maybe I’ll try again later today or at about 5 o’clock tomorrow… Which is usually that point in time when traffic is bumper-to-bumper a mile down the road…
5:56 PM--I say it almost every day, but I really would like to be in bed before Midnight...getting nervous about the "visit" to Borelli's replacement...trying not to be angry, trying not to feel betrayed...but I am a little and I do a little...
7:42 PM--I had what used to be a very pleasant experience today, by my own hand, if ya get my drift...it was mildly enjoyable...frankly, I expected a more obvious reaction...boy, was I disappointed...oh well...
8:18 PM-getting unusually sleepy… Well let’s say the timing is unusual; I’m going to try my best to make it to 11PM before I go to bed…None of that midnight or later stuff...and I think I will take a Xanax at approximately 10 PM...

wish I didn't have to

          SUNDAY 4/5/2020 9:10 PM-- I have to contact GEICO and Medicaid soon...or tomorrow...I would rather go to the dentist...not looking forward to tomorrow at all...
MONDAY 4/6/2020 11:15 AM--so now it IS Monday...just got back from Safeway, to get ice...we barely have room for a 10-lb bag, the gas station sells FIFTEEN pound bags...
          I'm gonna try to contact Medicaid after my nap, somewhere around three o'clock, hopefully...I think Dianne will be upstairs taking HER nap...
        I really wanna have mac&cheese for Dinner...we'll see...
4PM--it's been a suck ass day so far...the phone call to Medicaid or Social Security or whoever the fuck it was accomplished absolutely nothing...ultimately it's all my fault--maybe...
9:34 PM--it's still a suck ass day...a guy is coming tomorrow morning to put the toilet and sink back in the downstairs bathroom...good timing, because the upstairs toilet is acting funny...when it rains, it pours...if I didn't wake up in the morning I might be OK with that...and I suspect Dianne feels the same way about her Life...
TUESDAY 4/7/2020 10AM--dammit, I did wake up this morning...RATS...
3:09 PM--contacted GEICO...I'm postponing the April payment for onne week and two days, which is six days AFTER the SSA check comes...the ONLY good thing to happen today...except--the downstairs bathroom is back!!! The upstairs bathroom still has a problem...
       I'm not a scientist or a pharmacist or anything but I think each and EVERY pill one might take for whatever reason has side effects...but I understand why someone with a PhD would say I was wrong...they have to tow the company line and protect their career...I get it...that discussion was the straw that broke the camel's back--my FB account is (I hope) closed to everyone but me...if I want to, I can see what I would normally see...except Wendy...I blocked her...
4:23 PM--somewhat unintentionally I found that series of questions that could lead to finding out which Gov't programs I am eligible for--THIS TIME I answered the questions and PRINTED the results--all six pages...at least I finally took that first step...AND I called GEICO and moved the due date for my Monthly payment--I'm supposed to get verification...

pulling teeth is WAY easier

      FRIDAY 4/3/2020 4:23PM-I just spent the better part of an hour trying to do away with the idea that Medicare would be taking money from me every month money that I can’t really afford to lose no matter what the money is for… I talked to a woman who gave me some information which I had to go online to get, and I answered dozens of questions, easily but still...and I believe I’m eligible for something-Somebody else pays the $145 that I would have to pay in order to have Medicare, which apparently I can’t NOT have... But I’m done for now I hope;
          5:33 PM-maybe it’s the constant confinement that starting to get to me… The only person I’ve had contact with up close is the roomie and she’s starting to annoy me – and I’m sure I’m starting to annoy her… I suspect it’s only gonna get worse-if I let it...
             8:18 PM-I’m finally (partially) putting the laundry away that I did an unknown number of days ago...I’m planning on bringing the laptop back to the living room, if for no other reason than to straighten my bedroom up a bit..
10:51 PM-in Financial News, I’m practically broke, as far as my checking account is concerned…if I wanna buy anything for the next week and a half I will have to use the credit card... After hearing different things from different sources, I’m optimistic that I will in fact get the check for $1200…we’ll see...
SATURDAY 4/4/2020 9:06 AM-I’m gonna digest my breakfast (pizza) a bit then go back to bed...I can’t think of a reason not to...
10:23 AM--no nap yet, gonna try again after Lunch...
12:34 PM--having Lunch, inwardly celebrating putting new strings on the acoustic...I've got gloves (of a sort) and my mask is on the way...I might go out after that..
5:28 PM--doing laundry and planning (in my head) how when and where I hope to do my next music vid(s)...gonna have Dinner soon--what's left of the fried chicken and a bunless hot dog...I think Dianne is cooking up a Zoom meeting with her family...I plan on being in the basement, recording...
SUNDAY 4/4/2020 7:55 AM--going to Lowe's to get something to protect the new floor from the wheels of my computer table...then I alone am going to CVS...I'm hoping to run a Zoom test with Dianne to determine if she will be able hear me recording in the basement...boy, I sure hope she won't...
12:44 PM--she can...oh well...we went to CVS together...I dunno why, but I might join the 1:30 meeting--I WAS invited...
3:48 PM--went to the Zoom meeting with Dianne's family...I've had more fun alone, but I knew it was gonna be like that...and THOSE days are gone...having meatloaf for Dinner, I think Dianne is prepping it...that's not what I would usually eat on Sunday, but these are strange days; VERY strange days...

well, he should know, right?

        WEDNESDAY 4/1/2020 11 AM--so the floor guy is downstairs doing his thing...he says it may take a bit less than two days...his day ends at four o'clock...that works for me...starting to get a bit nervous about the visit with the new "Borelli"...I think I'm gonna change the date of the appointment...LATER-so I called Family Services and left a message and sent an e-mail...we'll see what happens...
12:49 PM--moved my laptop into my bedroom...for the time being, we have NO TV service...hopefully the floor guy can sucessfully plug back in what he unplugged in the first place...
5:13 PM- Dianne fixed the living room TV...my laptop is still in my bedroom...when I’ve got money in my pocket, I might buy another power cord, for when I’m using the laptop in the living room...in other news, it turns out my Dr.’s appointment is NEXhT Thursday...all that anxiety for nothing...
5:50 PM- I would say that today has been a rather crummy day...even though the floor job is halfway finished...maybe it’s cabin fever...it has taken longer to happen than I thought it would...but it was inevitable...
THURSDAY 4/2/2020 10:18 AM--I HAVE GOT  to talk to Social Security (and probably Amerigroup too) about my medical insurance...I can't afford to pay nearly $200 a month for Medicare when Medicaid seems to cover everything...
10:42 AM--It looks like the (original) floor around the dishwasher needs to be replaced, in the same way the bathroom floor needed to be replaced...so the New First Floor Project may ultimately take quite a bit longer...
7:25 PM-the new first floor is done...now the toilet and sink have to be put back where they belong...sometime in the next two weeks, I think...I'm not looking forward to trying to contact Social Security sometime Friday...and I'm not yet optimistic about the outcome of the conversation(s)...I dunno for sure, but I could be in bed by 11 PM if not sooner...I didn't get a nap, really, so I should be more than ready to go to bed by then...it's gonna take awhile to get the first floor back to the way it was...that gives us something to do...Dianne hosted a Zoom meeting between her and her family--and me...it was moderately sucessful in my opinion...oh well...
11:05 PM--a few minutes online and then it's sack time...
FRIDAY 4/3/2020 10:27 AM--I have been on hold with SSA for thirty minutes so far, and may have as much as an hour and a half to go before someone talks to me...a high price to pay for possibly getting my question answered in a way that will make me VERY unhappy...