the anti-social network

   SUNDAY 7/28/19 10:11 PM--IF I need to be reminded that I have few (if any) friends, all I gotta do is go to Flakebook...it's rather depressing to me...of course no one forces me to go there...
        MONDAY 7/29/19 12:48PM--There are those who say that they don't care who people think/say about them...I want to be one of those people, but I'm not...and I think people have the right to NOT like someone, the problems develop when you verbalize (out loud) those feelings...like I've kinda said before, there are some people I like, people I don't like...people I wanna like, people I no longer like...and of course, I demand the right to change my Mind...
    And there are people whom I think like me, but I'm no longer sure...and there are female people who I wish liked me more than a little, although what I could do about that? absolutely nothing...Angela recently put what *I* think is a rather revealing photo on Flakebook...it almost hurts to see it...
TUESDAY 7/30/19 5:31 PM--there are some rotted timbers on the deck--I just went thru them--my left leg, most of the way up my thigh...as much as it hurts to walk now, I suspect it will be way worse when I wake up tomorrow...I have no plans to go anywhere until maybe Thursday...
   7:52PM--I think the Tylenol is working on my knee...I'm gonna take four Advil before bedtime though...and while I don't have to do the trash, I do have to do the kitty litter...I guess someone will get the mail tomorrow morning...
9:05 PM--I might make it to 10 PM...I don't wanna still be up at 11PM...four Advil and maybe a Xanax should help me sleep, right? SLIGHTLY LATER--I'm only gonna take the Xanax if I wake up in the middle of the night...I might be in bed BEFORE 10 PM...
 WEDNESDAY 7/31/19 11:23AM--the leg still hurts, but I can still get around, if slowly...I just don't know exactly what I should take for the pain...we're gonna run out of Tylenol...maybe I should go to CVS and get some more...
12:18PM--and so I did, using my $5 in "extra bucks"...one of my Doctor's said the safest pain killer available w/o a prescription is Tylenol™ so that's what I use now...somewhere around 1PM I'll (hopefully) go take a nap..Dinner is a Stouffer's meatloaf dinner--oh boy...it takes almost as long for ME to prepare as it does to eat...I just don't like brown gravy...Mom used to make white gravy, but I have no idea how she did that...
3:13PM--or I could have sandwiches, that seems likely...But if I go to the OTWC tomorrow that's usually what I have when I eat there...it feels like a dilemma to me...right now making the meatloaf dinner feels like more work than I wanna do...so I'll very likely make sandwiches, it's a little less work--not by much, but still...
  

if it was Nancy, they'd probably cancel

          SATURDAY 7/27/19 9:18AM--as far as I know, Sue and Mike will  be here at about Noon...if it was Nancy (and Billy) they'd probably cancel...IMO one of Nancy's problems is that, more often than not, she makes plans and then cancels at the last minute...it could be that she's aware of my ("physical") attraction to her and I make her nervous...oh well...I kinda wish that Sue and Mike would cancel, in spite of all the prepping I (and especially Dianne) have done to get ready their visit...I'm trying to be aware of and sympathetic to everyone's hang-ups, and not just because I want everyone to treat me that way...EVERYBODY has 'em, but hang-ups don't always rise to the surface...
    Sue and Mike are both "quirky"...I guess (if there is such a thing) I don't know any "normal" people...I don't consider myself to be all that "tech savvy", but compared to Sue, I'm a Tech Genius...she doesn't seem to care, or else she would educate herself...I hope to get a pre-gig nap after they leave--HAHAHAHA...I dunno what's for Dinner, probably Lunch...
11:22 AM--Mike and Sue are across the street at  Starbucks, they should be here by Noon...and gone before 4PM...not sure whether I'm gonna shower for the gig...I plan to get more dressed up than usual...that is, long pants--provided I can find pants cool enough, not that we're playing outside--at least I don't THINK we are...
  3 PM--Mike and Sue just left; nap time starts at 3:30...I hope to leave the house at about 6PM...hopefully it won't take too long to get there or find a parking space...I suspect parking will cost an unknown amount of money...
SUNDAY 7/28/19 8:21 AM--the "unknown" amount of money was $12 dollars, maybe $14...I think one of the indications of low blood sugar is that the brain doesn't work as well, and I'm not very smart to begin with anyway...to have a tech problem on the laptop this early indicates to me that it's probably gonna be a long day...TWO Xanax should help me relax, if only for awhile...
11:16AM--two Xanax knocked me out...I was fast asleep, dreaming when Dianne came home from water aerobics...I could still go back to sleep now, and hopefully I will again after Lunch...until maybe 4:30 or so...IF Dianne goes to Unique she'll be going alone...
   7:40PM--Of course she didn't go alone...I went with her and came home empty handed...took a nap...just finished Dinner--mac&cheese...
                     

busy, kinda stressed, but OK

                       WEDNESDAY 7/24/19 10:37 AM--so I'm trying not to get too stressed out about my busy week...I found out Sue&Mike are coming on Saturday afternoon...I hope this means I'll have all day Sunday to recover...
           THURSDAY 7/25/19 7:12AM--today, I'm not just a little stressed, I'm very stressed and/or unhapppy...it's gonna take every ounce of strength I've got--which ain't much, but I'm gonna try to pretend to be as happy/positive as I can be--that is, later, when I'm doing the load in and later still, at the gig...can't wait until it's over...
 9:17AM--but I think I've got that Benatar riff--at the proper tempo...didn't start working on it until about 8:30 or so...
FRIDAY 11:20 AM--the songs/riffs that I worked on sounded pretty good...the songs that I forgot to work on sounded "fair" at best...this morning I'm just trying to recover...I really REALLY wanna get a bit of a nap before I go to Jeff's for practice...we'll see...
 7:19PM--who was I kidding? so I didn't get a nap...went to Jeff's, got kinda lost, had practice, came home...took a micro nap, took a shower and now Dianne and I are about to go out to the OTWC for Dinner and a performance by 49 Cent Dress...the lead singer is a friend of Dianne's...probably gonna have a burger for Dinner...
11:01 PM--I did...the band was good, but there were too many dancers--in a place with no dance floor...*I* might have put up with a bit longer, but Dianne could not...and she was tired...we came home, I did the kitty litter and the trash and now I'm doing this...expecting to go to bed at Midnight...

shoulda stayed in bed

               SUNDAY 7/21/19 9:38AM--I'm so fucking sick of misplacing my phone...if I'm gonna end up having Alzheimer's, I'll commit suicide--rather than be a burden to Dianne...the "joke" about Alzheimer's is the person who has it doesn't know they have it...it's the family and/or loved ones that suffer because of it...
  12:15PM--feeling kinda "blah", to put it mildly...I would like to NOT give a damn what people think of me, but of course, I care plenty...I can't shake that feeling of being lumped in with people that *I* don't like all that much...maybe I AM as "eccentric" as the people that I'm thinking about...
   8:12PM- I spontaneously renewed my battle with technology with regard to my iPhone…This time I won the fight… I no longer need my four digit security code to unlock my phone; and I can always re-in-state that particular security measure if I find myself out in public… especially since I keep losing my phone… 
  10:21PM--It's possible that I'm gonna make what I might call a major purchase tomorrow...naturally, I'm getting nervous about it...I think I can return the item if I don't pass the audition...it shouldn't take long for the other members of the ACME band to make a decision, right? Either I'm a good enough keyboard player or not...
MONDAY 7/22/19 6:07PM--So I bought a piano bench and a powered speaker...and I'm getting nervous about the keyboard audition...I have a history of over reaching...I hope that's not what I've done with the keyboard audition idea...frankly, considering what the ACME Band sounds like now, I think that some songs will be improved by my keyboard playing...naturally, Dianne wonders what happens if I DON"T pass the audition...
TUESDAY 7/23/19 10:47AM--the keyboard audition is tonight...I'm pretty sure I will need at least one Xanax by then...I AM gonna try to take a nap after Lunch, but I don't expect it will last long...I mean it will be even shorter than usual...a little bit of good news, I know what I'm having for Dinner...that's one less thing to worry about...
        12:36PM--among other things I don't like about Flakebook is that it reminds me that I'm not now and likely won't ever be in another "romantic" relationship...by "romantic" I men "physical" and by "physical" I mean "sexual"...of course, the fact that my "equipment" no longer functions in that manner has everything to do with it...

that seemed easy enough

           SATURDAY 7/20/19 9:03AM--after all the fear, bordering on panic, I made the first payment on the Litz credit card...I paid approximately one and a half times the required amount...IF my calculations are correct, the wireless unit is almost half paid off...I'm pretty sure that if/when I buy a keyboard bag and/or a powered speaker (my first choice) or a keyboard amp (my second choice) I'll be using the Litz credit card...
         I have no major plans for today...I have to put the clean dishes away, I think that's it...in addition to the Litz credit card, there is the CapOneMastercard...the plan is to use the money from the 7/27 gig with Jeff H. to make a payment on it...that payment is due on August 8th...I probably shouldn't say it, but all things considered, Life is good...
             Dianne gave me a gizmo that allows me to (among other things) play youTube vids/songs thru my phone...this opens up what feels like endless possibilities with regard to keyboard practice...as long as the phone has enough juice in the battery...now I have no reason to leave the house, today at least...
  6:53 PM  And yet I did...I went to the open mic at the Music Café...after which Dianne and I went to iHOP for dinner...I hope I'm in bed by about 11PM; I can't imagine still being up at Midnight...it wouldn't surprise me if I was...but I don't wanna be...
  8:27PM--gonna go upstairs and watch some of the MASH episodes I think/hope I recorded earlier today...there are ten of ‘em...that’s five hours worth if I don’t skip the commercials...as for tomorrow, I dunno what I’m doing...I dunno what Dianne is doing either...except for water aerobics in the morning and Dinner with her parents sometime around five o’clock...
  I forgot to do some kinda happy dance to celebrate dealing with the Litz credit card payment...a HUGE weight fell off my shoulders...I’m sure another one will come along anytime now...such is Life...
   

does a car really need an air conditioner?

      FRIDAY 7/19/19 8AM--I was gonna walk over to CVS after dropping the car off at the repair shop...I think I'll make that my first trip after getting the air conditioner fixed...SLIGHTLY LATER- I DID walk over to CVS and I’m picking up some meds, one of which is said to be especially important-I’ve been out of it for two or three days...
 8:46AM--"Levo" has to be taken on an empty stomach...so I have to wait until tomorrow to start taking it again...so now I can look forward to the agonizing wait to hear from the service station across the street...So it's FOUR HOURS LATER and I'm not yet in an agonized state of Mind...well, just a teeny bit...
2:49PM--so I don't have a working air conditioner? how necessary is it anyway? even if I sell off some of my Musical gear, like the Bass and digital recorder, I won't have $1400 dollars to cover the (alleged) cost of the repair...I suppose I could sell off everything and still not have $1400 dollars...
     I should feel lucky to have a car at all, right? I'll desperately try to hang onto that thought...as for Dianne helping me, that's not gonna happen--she has financial limits too...oh well...I knew it was gonna be expensive, I just hoped it wouldn't be THAT expensive...Off the top of my head, the piece of Musical equipment most vulnerable to excessive heat is the acoustic guitar, and I don't go out with it all that much...although my iPhone seems overly sensitive to extreme heat as well...
 4:34PM--I don't really feel like doing much of anything, possibly including living...but driving a car w/o a working air conditioner IS better than not having a car at all...I MUST hold onto that thought...Life goes on...so I might go ahead and do what I was gonna do when I thought I'd be driving around in an air conditioned car...the Plan was/is to go to the OTWC, for dessert if nothing else...there's an acoustic duo playing there; it might be innaresting to hear them...*I* dunno why, but Stoney might be playing with them...at the risk of sounding like a jealous asshole, what's so great about Stoney Johnstone?
   Which brings me back to: I'm I not as talented as I think I am? which is fairly talented? is it a personality thing? and again I wonder if I'm lumped in with MontCo's other "eccentrics"? Whoever they might be--Howard comes to mind, a guy named David, Sean Hardman...a lot of the Musicians I know...
   5:11PM--so I'm gonna eat dinner, shower shave and put on clean clothes and go to the OTWC...at least that's what I think I'm gonna do...the Musical group playing there starts kinda early (7:30) and that's fine with me...I could be home well before 11 o'clock...
      11:17 PM--Nope, I got home right at eleven...had an OK time...

too much information?

     WEDNESDAY 7/17/19 11:05PM--I have an appointment with Dr. Borelli tomorrow at about 10:30...I WANT to talk about the changes *I* perceive to have taken place in my head...like my short temper--at least where Dianne is concerned...I don't see us talking about everything that's going on in my Life...but there are things that are bothering me...like no longer knowing who my friends are or wondering what sort of image (for lack of a better word) I have...and thinking that that image is less than complimentary...
              NOON--the Borelli appointment went well enough, other than starting about 15 minutes late...after Lunch I plan to take a nap...not gonna even TRY to "enjoy" myself... might save myself until next week...and  I dunno if I'm putting strings on the acoustic later...I think I'll save 'em for the gig on the 27th...in Automotive News, I talked to the guy across the street about repairing the auto's air conditioner...I'm gonna drop it off tomorrow at 8AM...he said it might just be a lack of Freon, but I don't think I'll be that lucky...he'll probably have to replace the compressor, which will cost a LOT more than Freon...
4:23PM--so I did put new strings on the acoustic after all...it was a bit of a chore...because of that I've decided to go to the Grape Escape--I think...this way the acoustic won't be in the super hot car for too long...although even a few minutes in my car might be a disaster...just had an idea--leave the guitar home, *I* can still go...I dunno for sure, but I hope that by Lunchtime tomorrow the air conditioner in my car will be fixed...I won't be able to pay for it (using Dianne's credit card) until she gets home from, er, uh, someplace...and (as far as I can remember) I have nowhere to go all weekend...maybe I can go out Friday or Saturday night--otherwise, what's the point of getting the air conditioner fixed tomorrow? although there isn't anybody playing anywhere where I would normally go...
 10:35PM--Dianne is supposed to get home early tomorrow, so I could have the car back by 4PM, if not a little sooner...it will be great to have a working air conditioner again...too bad I won't be able to take advantage of having it back--I don't think I have anywhere I need to be...I think I'm going with Dianne to have Dinner with her folks on Sunday...

I wanna be sure first

                WEDNESDAY 7/17/19 6:30AM--I have, or will shortly have $1100 in my checking account...I THINK my CapitalOne credit card (number ending in 5967) is somehow tied to my Litz credit card...so if I pay off the wireless later today, I think I'd be able to buy a powered speaker to run the keyboard through...but first I should pass the audition for the ACME Band before I make that investment, right?
           On the other hand, I wanted to throw out the cereal I accidentally bought (if I didn't like it) and buy the "right" cereal...I didn't want to involve Dianne in any way, but of course that's exactly what happened...if I hadn't spilled the cereal, my plan would have remained a secret...I guess it's gonna be a long day...I think my breakfast and my lunch are gonna be earlier than usual so that maybe I can squeeze in a little nap before I go rehearse with Jeff Herbert at 2PM...
            7:44AM--or maybe the Litz card is NOT tied into my CapitalOne card...so the plan is to payoff the Litz card and still make a payment to CapOne, sometime between now and August the 8th...I told Dianne I'd go across the street to try to determine how much it will cost to fix the car's air conditioner...maybe before I go to Jeff's...or tomorrow morning...
     9AM--I've got about $70 in my pocket to last an unknown number of days...I've got a gig on the 27th, that's a week and three days away...I seem to be quite, uh, er, "frustrated"...that's my fault for going to a certain website...IF I have any kind of preference with regard to body type, it's girls who aren't skinny...like Angela for example...it turns out that that website includes "chubby" girls as a category...a certain redhead captured my attention, but I've lost her...the story of my Life, right?
        As I said before, Lunch will likely be early, so I can hopefully squeeze in a nap--and an opportunity to enjoy myself--before I go to Mont. Village...I have no idea when I'll be back from Jeff's...hopefully by 5:00 or so...I still might go to his open mic tomorrow night--but (perhaps) only if he suggests it...the open mic doesn't seem to be close by, but it might be...
    7:04PM--I sorta told Jeff that I probably wouldn't be coming to his open mic tomorrow night...I think he's OK with that...the question then becomes "Where should I go? the OTWC? or Grape Escape?" Grape Escape should be easier on my ears...
8:24PM--I don't know where I would feel more comfortable...I am definitely going to the OTWC next Thursday, it's my job...that's one reason I'm leaning toward the Grape Escape...
    8:49PM--For reasons that are unclear to me, I've been spending more than the usual amount of time at that certain "adult" website...turns out there are seemingly dozens (hundreds) of girls that remind me of Angela, which is to say that they aren't anorexic... "Entertaining" myself is still not easy, and barely worth it...but it's all I've got...

easier than I thought it would be

      SUNDAY 7/14/19 10:52AM--I got almost eight hours of sleep last night...I guess I needed it...the best thing to happen so far today was being able to vacuum the area in front of the litter box...I used Linda's vacuum cleaner...now I'm watching the MASH episodes I recorded...I don't think I will have seen them all before I have to leave for practice...apparently, today is NOT the best day to have it, but we're gonna have it anyway...
        All I have to do before I leave is pack and straighten up around here...I hope to be outta here by about 11AM, if not sooner... and I have to remove any evidence that I used Linda’s computer… I’m actually  excited about going back to Gaithersburg... I might need to go grocery shopping when I get back there, I’m going to bring some food from Rockville,  but I don’t know if it will be enough to make lunch... and of course, I have to get the fudge sickles to Gaithersburg as soon as I can…
  MONDAY 7/15/19 8:30AM--I THINK I'm all packed, and I THINK all I gotta do is load the car...the UNpacking is gonna be a Gov't Project, but at least I'll be home...
    4:45PM--back in Gburg...I had Lunch here, then took a needed nap...if I wasn't so tired or whatever, I think I'd be Snoopy dancing...but first I've gotta put the clean dishes away--yeah, I'm back home...
TUESDAY 7/16/19 10:41AM--trying to get back into that Gburg groove...I don't think I have anything to do today...tomorrow I'm going to an acquaintance's house to see if we can be a duo...I think HE thinks so, I dunno one way or the other...
   11:35AM--the only thing on my "to do" list that I know of is a trip to UPS with Dianne--I have to help her carry stuff...maybe I'll get a teeny tiny nap when we get back home...I think there's an appointment with Dr. Borelli on Thursday morning...and a rehearsal with Jeff Herbert on Wednesday at 2PM...dunno what else, if anything is going on...with my luck, I'm probably forgetting something, possibly something VERY important...

keeping track of myself isn't always easy

        FRIDAY 7/12/19 8:24AM--going to Gburg to do laundry...I expect to be coming back to Rockville after Lunch...
            10:28AM--the updated Plan? eat lunch here, feed the animals their lunch, do laundry, hang around (practice on the keyboard some more maybe) feed the animals their mid-day treats and leave for Rockville around 3:30...oh, and work on the kitty litter...should probably do that BEFORE I give them their Lunch...
         11AM--Gburg kitty litter is done...laundry is BEING done...when I start the dryer, I'll go to CVS and get whatever medicine they have ready...I might even walk...I was diplomatically able to get outta my Saturday lunch date with Dianne--it's now a Dinner date for later today...that is a bit hectic, but manageable...and now my Saturday will be a bit less hectic...I might even get a pre-gig nap...I doubt that I'll get any sleep, but ya never know...
  6:25PM--had Dinner with Dianne at the Silver Diner--her treat...not going out tonight, I'm pretty beat...finally did the Rockville kitty litter...made a mess...If Linda doesn't have a hand-vac I'll have to borrow Dianne's...was gonna wait until Monday, but I might go get it on Sunday...maybe I'll bring some or all of my electric gear home, and swap it for my acoustic--I just might go to the Gazebo Jam Sunday afternoon...
   SATURDAY 7/13/19 10:40AM--getting nervous about getting TO today's gig, not yet nervous about the gig itself...so far, it's been a pretty good day...
  11PM--got home from the gig about an hour ago...not surprisingly, I was too wiped out to go anywhere after it...I expect to be in bed before One AM--I need my sleep, there's a band practice tomorrow...because of where the gig was, my Mind wandered a bit--for all I know Debbie Haines coulda been in the audience...except that band leader Dave mentioned me by name a couple of times and nothing happened...realistically, she could have passed away years ago...
        And of course, there is the idea that one should "be here now", the Past is gone, let it go...that's not easy for me, I do't know why...
   

change of plan

      THURSDAY 7/11/19 7:37AM I'm gonna go feed the animals their Lunch and bring "eBay" back to Rockville...I might run into the cleaning ladies, but I kinda hope not...I have to stop off at Safeway to buy ice for Dianne...I need to do Laundry, or bring back some more clothing--THAT would be easier...it suddenly feels like the next day or two or three are gonna be rather hectic...if I don't run the wireless test today, I MUST do it tomorrow...
        8:51AM--I set a passcode for my phone...then I tried to change my Mind and do without it--but I can't remember my Apple password...I'm so fuckin' pissed off...maybe I can change it on the laptop in Gburg...another crummy day...that got old YEARS ago...
       I'm gonna go feed the animals their Lunch, and bring "eBay" back to Rockville...I might run into the cleaning ladies, but I kinda hope not...I have to stop off at Safeway to buy ice for Dianne...
     5PM--I was a bit concerned about what I was gonna do this evening...going to the OTWC open mic was actually a last resort...I think MRS. DOUBTFIRE  is on later, starting at 7PM...that will get me to ten o'clock after which I'll likely watch the STAR TREK I'm gonna record at 8:00 then go to bed...
7:15PM- I got kinda excited about watching MRS. DOUBTFIRE; but sitting (more or less) still  for three hours is not something I’m likely to be able to do…in spite of the vicious weather, the desktop computer is still working...the downstairs TV is still working...we haven’t yet lost power... for which I am very grateful...
     8:20PM--I know it's only Thursday, but I'm starting to think about all the cleaning up I have to do by the time I leave...what I might do is just wait until Monday morning, feed Yoshi her breakfast THEN clean up...I expect to be back in Gburg by Lunchtime Monday...I could change my Mind but I think I'm gonna go to Gburg tomorrow to do some laundry...and maybe get in some keyboard practice as well...

still sitting in a house

        MONDAY 7/8/19 6:20AM--I had planned on using my earplugs at practice yesterday, but I forgot/lost them...naturally, I just found them about 5 minutes ago...(sigh) Going to see Malinsky later this morning...dunno exactly what's going on after that...might go to a grocery store and buy some ingredients for Lunch...have Lunch at Dianne's and feed the animals THEIR Lunch.
         I have no idea how long I'll stay in Gburg; probably not too long...I plan to be back in Rockville by two o'clock, more or less...(knock on wood) I'm still able to watch the downstairs TV, but it takes THREE sets of buttons to get things done...I'm not 100% sure that low batteries are the problem...
10:27AM--I'm at Dianne's now...I got Lunch stuff for me and eggs and Fudgesicles for Dianne...gonna stay long enough for me and the animals to have Lunch...might(should) do some practicing on the keyboard...
    7:30PM--I feel the slightest bit sleepy; But I expect to be up until Midnight--maybe...but if I don't last that long, that's ok too...
TUESDAY 7/9/19 8:24AM--kinda sorta overslept...I was up at about 4:30 or so, with a headache...took some acetaminophen and went back to bed/sleep...I have some errands to do in Gburg, so I'll be heading that way after breakfast...I guess I'll be having Lunch there as well...I should probably stop somewhere and get more than a little cheese and bologna...I think I've got bread there already... 
 12:30PM-- gonna take care of the kitty litter then go back to Rockville...dunno what's going on tonight...probably just some TV watching...
  1:42PM- I expect to be napping in about 45 minutes… I’m hoping the nap will last at least an h our and a half if not two hours; dinner is scheduled for 6 o’clock, I think it will be hotdogs--the question is how many? 
   4:22PM- The nap lasted about 90 minutes…I guess I needed it...I’ve got enough stuff  to watch on TV to get me to 11 o’clock I think...between now and tomorrow morning I need to compose a shopping list…I don’t need much, but I do need a couple of things-soda and paper towels (?) and “D” batteries for the keyboard...I guess there’s really no hurry to get those… 
  7:36PM--there are some relatively small/easy things I need to get done, but I'm having trouble getting started doing them...I need to call the Bank that set up my Litz loan...I wanna pay off the wireless unit ASAP...but I dunno how...I don't think the money comes outta my CapOne checking account, but I hope it does...
WEDNESDAY 7/10/19- so I bought some stuff at the grocery store… And didn’t bring all of it back to Rockville, apparently... I guess there’s a bag of Peppermint Patties and a roll of paper towels in the parking lot-no I’m not going back to check on that, but it does piss me off...the older I get, the soggier my brain is gonna get...it's not such a good day yet IMO...
  4:30PM--but it got better...took a shower and shaved--no problems...well, maybe one--I thought my keys were missing...I was wrong, thank goodness...leaving for Lahinch at about six o'clock...dunno how long I'm gonna be there, probably all evening...

deja vu all over again

        SATURDAY 7/6/19 6:16PM- The last time I did this house sitting gig for the April’s there was some kind of accidental inadvertent screwup with the TV upstairs in the living room and I had to watch TV downstairs in what I guess is now called Linda‘s office... so on this, the third day of my 11 day visit, the upstairs TV is screwed up again--and I don’t know how it happened or how to fix it… I don’t like it, but there’s nothing I can do about it… If I tell Linda about it it will be later, before I leave...
         Dianne and I went to Hyattsville to attend a friends 60th birthday gathering… I think we both had a good time; I spent a lot of time talking to a local musician whom I did not know; I spent a fair amount of time talking to Susan Judge and her current partner...surprisingly,  I also spent a bit of time  talking to Susan‘s ex partner, Karen… at first I was a little bummed that Nancy couldn’t make it, but then I remembered that back in the old days, she often bailed out at the last minute...I tried not to act like me—that is, quiet and subdued somber… but ultimately I was me, for better or for worse… 
        As  for going out tonight, it’s probably not gonna happen… I need to save myself for band practice tomorrow afternoon, my ears are ringing enough already, and I’m kind of tired from the visit to Hyattsville...There are two  MASH marathons going on on TV right now on two different channels... One of the marathons lasts until 9 PM the other until midnight…So I will probably watch the Star Wars movie that I recorded earlier tomorrow morning...
       If I didn't mention it, the Vyvance is working again...I don't seem to have much of an apetite--if I'm eating anything, it might be because I'm bored...I don’t think I’m gonna make it to Midnight... and that’s OK by me… 
9:47PM- and now the remote control for the downstairs TV is acting funny, except that I’m not laughing… I’m going to buy a bunch of batteries tomorrow and hope that that will make a difference...
            9:56PM If I’m gonna lose BOTH TVs, I’ll have damn near nothing to do around here...I can’t help but wonder what I did to deserve this...Linda’s desktop is about four feet to my left, duno why I’m I doing this on the phone...
SUNDAY 7/7/19 9AM-I think the upstairs Verizon buttons will work on the downstairs TV...so far they have...still hoping practice gets canceled...a lot can happen between now and 12:30-that's when I'm gonna load up the car and go...
  9:25AM--I tried to remember the name of the street where Ric lives...I absolutely could not remember it--or Ric's name either...very VERY VERY frustrating, to put it mildly...but both names came to me, when I gave up trying to remember them...I'm considering praying that practice will be canceled...
  7:28PM--I wanted pizza for Dinner and that's what I got, Little Caeser's...I've got enough left over to have it for Dinner tomorrow too...I'd be very surprised if I make it to 11PM...I'm kinda watching a movie that is over at nine o'clock...I'm gonna try to make it to 10:30, but I'm not optimistic...I hope I'm wrong, but I feel as though I've got a lot to do tomorrow...
   

one day at a time

              SATURDAY 7/6/19 7:15AM--I hope to be at Dianne's by 9:30 or thereabouts, so I can take a shower and practice the keyboard...I dunno when we'll be getting back from Hyattsville; so I dunno when I'll be having Dinner--or what or where...I will feed Yoshi HER breakfast and handle her meds then I will likely have a bowl of cereal...
            I imagine I'll be too tired to go out again tonight, especially knowing there's a Combustibles rehearsal scheduled for tomorrow @ 1:30...Wondering if I should bring my Musical gear back to Rockville with me...I probably will, surely the distance from Rockville to Colesville is shorter than the distance from G-burg to Colesville...MINUTES LATER--boy, is it...all I gotta do is remember to load my car up with the necessary Music gear...

I said MINIMIZE stress

         FRIDAY 7/5/19 3:30PM--to make a LONG story a lot shorter, the muffler nearly fell off  my Corolla...it may well be fixed by now, but I'm waiting for Dianne to bring her credit card...She should be here by 5PM, more or less...as you can imagine this has put a huge damper on the weekend...
            Tomorrow, she and I are going to go to a "friend's" 60th birthday gathering,,,I dunno who's gonna be there, I only know that I don't care if I'm there or not...and this is only the 2nd of 11 days I'll be housesitting for the Aprils...I thought about going out tomorrow night, but now I don't think I'll be going anywhere...I AM grateful that the muffler situation wasn't worse...and that Dianne is helping...
       4:30PM--I'm back on the road--for now...IF I can properly shave my face, I MIGHT go out somewhere, probably the OTWC...
   4:55PM- well, I DID properly shave my face… So now I have to decide where I’m going to go; probably to the OTWC for dessert... The duo that I believe is playing there tonight should be easy on my ears… 
    5:30PM- I think the Vyvance is working again-I don’t really feel like eating anything, but I’m going to eat something… probably the dinner I bought at Giant yesterday...
6:30PM- The duo that’s playing at the OTWC is only playing for two hours, starting at 8 o’clock... I expect to be home by 11 o’clock...
      Starting  to get excited/nervous about the visit to Janet’s birthday party tomorrow…Two of the people that I wish were going to be there (Sue and Nancy) are not going to be there and a lot of the people that are going to be there are total strangers to me and Dianne… I will try my best to keep calm and relatively quiet… In fact I hope to take a Xanax before Dianne and I leave Gaithersburg to make the trip to Hyattsville...
        10:50PM- just got home from the OTWC… I had a good time, in a very low-key way… I was more or less by myself for the whole evening-and I don’t have a problem with that… After I digest the grilled cheese sandwich that I had about an hour ago I will go to bed-after I watch an episode of Star Trek, that is...I’d like to sleep until 8 o’clock tomorrow morning; at which time I will feed the cat her breakfast...

the idea is to minimize stress

               WEDNESDAY 7/3/19 9:52 PM--I guess if I wanna practice the keyboard I'll have to come to Dianne's, because taking it to Rockville feels like such a hassle...I've started packing, in a low-key way...I imagine I'll be going out Friday or Saturday night, because I can, not necessarily because I want to...
        10:07PM--even the dog doesn't like me, unless growling is a sign of affection...I have no idea what I've done to deserve THAT...
              THURSDAY 7/4/19 6:44AM--still have some packing to do, but first there's a trip to Unique on the schedule...I'm hoping to buy a book there, I think everything is 50% off today...There are two TVs at the April's if I remember correctly...the living room set-up seems more sophisticated to me and is therefore more delicate...the last time I lived there, I did something accidentally to cause it to stop working properly...I moved downstairs and that area became my living room...it's cooler down there temperature-wise; I think I napped down there, dunno if I slept there overnight--I doubt it...
            Being in Rockville puts me a little further away from my hangouts, such as the OTWC, Hershey's and the Grape Escape...but I'll be closer to Lahinch...and of course I can always come back to Dianne's during the day if I want/need to...I'm probably spoiled by having stuff so close by, be it grocery stores or fast food joints...it just might be a long ten days...I usually look forward to the house sitting thing, but this time? Not as much, I don't know why exactly...which is, IMO, a manifestation of my depression or whatever my problem is...
             9:05AM- Dianne and I arrived here at Unique 30 minutes ago… There were no shopping carts available… But there were baskets on wheels, so I used one of those; I bought two books a picture frame some NEW socks and another CD holder… That’s enough for me... all of the stuff I got cost $16... I bought the books mostly to have something to read at the April's house...
        11:00AM--gonna have Lunch soon, finish packing, leave for Rockville later (after an attempted nap?) stopping off at the Bank first to get some cash...not much, say $40 more or less...probably go to Giant first, then the April's...I think there will be some cash waiting for me when I get in the house...
   5PM- well I’m in Rockville,  and I’ve already fed the cat her 5 o’clock dinner... I am going to have MY dinner in about 45 minutes, at 6 o’clock…  I think I have the TV button is figured out;  I think there is an open mic tonight at the OTWC, but I’m not interested in going... as long as there is something on TV tonight, I’ll stay home-that goes for tomorrow night as well, I think... I will have to check Flakebook to see who is playing and where...
      7-PM-I can only come up with (at the most) two reasons to go out tonight… But I can come up with three reasons not to... my ears are ringing, my musical equipment is back in Gaithersburg, and I’m not a big fan of the guy hosting tonight’s open mic at the OTWC... so, unless I change my mind, I’m staying here in Rockville  this evening...
8PM- after I watch Star Trek the original series, I will be watching Star Trek the Motion Picture…It ends at 11:30...I’m going to try and hang in there until then...it’s not gonna be easy...  I think I will be able to get a fair amount of sleep tonight…one  problem with me being here by myself is that I’m eating because I’m bored…and I’m eating things that I don’t eat at home-“cheese doodads” and Peppermint Patties... not to mention, of course, Fudgesickles… 
  







     

feels like there's a lot going on

                  TUESDAY 7/2/19 11:37AM--I seem to be focused on my photography, not that there's anything wrong with that...I'm having some trouble getting more Vyvance, *I* dunno why...that bothers me a bit...
     4PM--still playing with my photos and my frames...I might try printing one myself tomorrow when Dianne is at work...I think there's still some photo paper in a drawer under the printer...actually, she's going out later IF it doesn't rain...it's supposed to though...so I'll wait until tomorrow...
       9:06PM--starting to get nervous/excited about the house sitting job...I AM undecided (to put it mildly) about what I'm gonna do with the money...maybe I should live on the $240(?) and use some of my checking account money to pay off the Litz loan--the wireless unit...or vice versa...THAT seems more likely...I THINK I'll have $260 to last 14 days, after ALL the deductions...which is about $18 a day...it seems like the best thing to do--use most of the house sitting money to pay off the Litz loan...and live on the $260...the SSA check comes two days after the house sitting job ends...the Litz loan payment is due on the 23rd of July...
        The air conditioner in my car? I guess that's gonna have to wait...or maybe I can borrow the money from Dianne...I believe she has hinted at lending me the money...
     10:17PM--I wrote up a packing list for the extended visit to Rockville, which starts this coming Thursday...it looks like a large list to me, if you include the groceries...
WEDNESDAY 7/3/19 7:33AM--Dianne went to work, was informed that there's no water in the building, and is on her way back home...I hadn't counted on that...I guess I got used to having the house to myself, except on Tuesdays.
       I plan to start packing sometime today; I think it's gonna be a bit of a Gov't Project, but I've got all day today and some time tomorrow...but my nervousness is growing, if only a little...Apparently we ARE going to Unique early tomorrow; which is OK by me...I have a  half dozen (more or less) t-shirts to donate...For all I know I could have more stuff, I just don't feel like finding out...
    7:15PM-- I don't think I'm taking any Music stuff to the April's house, at least not on the first day...and I dunno what's for Dinner tomorrow...I guess I'd better go to the grocery store on the way to Rockville...I'm having a LOT of trouble keeping track of what day tomorrow is and what day the next day is, and what I'm doing and when I'm doing it...as I told Linda, my brain is turning into Jello--I dunno why...like I said elsewhere, I'm not happy...

why is this time different?

        MONDAY 7/1/19 9:15AM--doing Laundry, so I'll have clothes to wear when I go to Rockville at the end of this week...I'll buy groceries when I get there...I dunno why I'm so anxious about this visit...I've done this quite a few times before...
         9:44AM--just talked to Linda...she'll be leaving thorough instructions and (I think) $240!!! I wanna check with the guys across the street to see how much fixing the air conditioner will cost...I suspect it will cost way more than $240...
         9:26PM--just found out the balance I owe on the Litz credit card is $224 dollars...I guess that's where the house sitting money is gonna go, not fixing the AC in the car...the Synchrony bill is due on 7/23...the SSA check should be in on the seventeenth...I think I have about $250 to live on for the next sixteen days...which is about $15 per day...
11:18PM--I just got back to the Internet...there was some kinda fuckup within a specific website...I couldn't get out of it...in fact it happened twice, on two different websites...I had to restart the laptop...it's time to go to bed...