what is it THIS week?

           FRIDAY 8/30/19 10:15 PM--I've rediscovered the art of photography...I got one of my non-doodle photos framed...for reasons that I don't understand some of the doodles and photos seem to come out (badly) cropped when printed from my iPhone...they're kinda lopsided...I've been chatting with a friend, a very good photographer herself--picking her Brain a little...she recommends Photoshop, but just thinking about it makes me nervous...
                  My photographer friend (and someone else we both know) electronically sends their photos to a company in California called Shutterfly, who sends the finished prints back to them via the USPS...I've been going to CVS to get my photos done, but both Staples and Office Depot develop pix...Staples is closer, gonna try them next...I think Walgreen's does too...I think there's one of those around here somewhere...
     I also went into my file folder (if that's what it's called) and added the word "my" to every free form doodle I did--all 105 of them, in order to distinguish them from the designs that just needed the colors filled in...Tomorrow Dianne and I are going to an Art Festival in Lancaster PA, which is about two hours away...my Plan is to pick somebody's brain on the subject of photography, at least a little...
  SATURDAY 8/31/19 8:30 AM--leaving for Lancaster shortly...dunno how long we'll be gone...I think we'll be home by five o'clock...of course, I have NO plans to go out tonight...
9:03PM--we got home a little more than an hour ago...I had a late lunch, at a Subway in Lancaster...it was about three o'clock...then I had some mozzarella sticks from Applebees   for Dinner...and I started getting cramps as we were leaving to come home...
      I didn't mention the cramps to Dianne until we were a couple of miles from home...*I* thought I was gonna have a major situation to deal with, but I did not...not yet anyway...
            What I learned from my discussions with a photographer or two was this: Janet might be able to do what they do, assuming she has the right equipment and the right software...But *I* can't do what they do...not now, and not ever...but knowing that won't stop me from doing what I currently already do...and I'm OK with that...
   I think Dianne might be going to Unique tomorrow...or she might go on Monday instead...I might go with her, but that's not definite...
SUNDAY 9/1/19 7:26 AM--I don't think I'm going with Dianne to Unique...I was up for a couple of hours overnight...I went back to sleep only to have a fairly bad dream...and when I DID get otta bed, I got up too fast I guess...I've been feeling oogy ever since...

what do they mean?

         SUNDAY 8/25/19 8:22AM--I had two inneresting dreams last night...the first one included a female singer-songwriter I know...putting aside my age for a moment, she IS cute...her singing? just OK in my opinion...there was a scene in the dream where she bends over and shows me her naked butt, specifically her a--hole...IF the dream means anything, I'm not sue what that is...I briefly had a crush on her, but then I came to my senses...at least, I think I did...she's no Angela...
           The second one involved a Leonard Hofstadter look alike giving me directions to get somewhere, Bel Air I think...the route was all back roads...and I really don't know what that one means...
         Before I go to practice, I have some prepping to do...I should shave and (more definitely) wash my hair...I think I need a haircut...I'll have to check my calendar...
 9:39PM--I went to an outdoor pool party/Music Jam...it was the last one of the "season"...I'd never been to one before...I had more fun than I thought I would, probably because I was involved in some of the musical goings-on...It was a bit difficult seeing all the bikini clad females, but I was able to ignore them...kinda glad Angela wasn't there...Faye was, but she left before I got there...and there was a young woman wearing a hat not unlike mine (which I wasn't wearing) whose name I would like to know--why? that I DON'T  know...guess I'll just have to wait for the pictures...
MONDAY 8/26/19 11:08AM--yeah, it IS Monday...I walked a package over to the UPS Store only to be told that they (allegedly) don't take USPS packages...apparently they only take letters...so I'm gonna drive the package to Parcel Plus, of course THEY might say take it to the post office; but they never have before...oh well...
   5:45PM--I went to B/R to get a milk shake, because I felt like I kinda deserved it...One of the two CVS women I sorta know was there...she bought my milk shake, *I* dunno why... 
WEDNESDAY 8/28/19--nervous about going out tonight, but I'm still hoping to go...just taking the bare necessities...gonna shower and shave somewhere around 4:30 or so...Dinner will  be at roughly 5:30, after which I just might spend some time warming up on Butterscotch...
 3:30PM--it's raining here in G-burg, dunno what's going on in Falls Church...I think it will all be over with by the time I leave the house...
THURSDAY 8/29/19 9:51 AM--I don't have anything at all going on today and that makes me nervous--Am I forgetting something? Something very important? I was recently reminded that I have a Dr,'s appointment, specifically a cardiologist...the appointment is NEXT Thursday...
10:28 AM--Actually having mixed feelings about having (to my knowledge) no plans...
   Actually, my Plan is to take a nap sometime after Lunch...all I expect to do is (try to) sleep, for a couple of hours...
6:39 PM-- managed about an hour, unfortunately that's the new norm...just finishing Dinner--hot dogs with (real) cheese...My attention has been bouncing all over the place...I did some photography/art work today, getting a pair of my doodles printed as photos...I'm not quite happy with the results, but what's done is done...I was affected by the idea that Dianne and I are going to an Art Festival in Lancaster on Saturday...
MEDICAL NEWS--the compression socks I bought a couple of days ago came today...don't yet know if they fit, but I'll find out tomorrow...
  

am I still married? sometimes it feels like it

         FRIDAY 8/23/19 5:54PM--I expressed the idea that I might go out tomorrow night...then the roomie reminded me that I agreed to spend the evening with her...that's OK, the only band playing tomorrow night that I'd even consider seeing is the Rhythm Bandits...
  8:16PM-something interesting happened last night when Colleen was helping me with my Google photos app...she saw a lot of photos that were, until she got her hands on my phone, private… there were at least two photos of Angela on the phone… what she seems to have engineered (more or less with my cooperation) is the transfer of a lot of my photos from the Apple photo app to the Google photo app...For instance when I arrived at the OTWC last night,my phone had approximately 1000 or more photos in it...the majority of those photos have been moved to the Google photo app-I don’t know how exactly and I don’t know why… Colleen explained it to me but I didn’t really understand what she was talking about...
                       I just wonder if she noticed the photos of Angela… if she did and if she found it disturbing that I had them, I could be in trouble...apparently I have to build my photo folders from scratch...I have no idea how long that will take...
9:03PM--on the other hand, the Google photo app seems to organize and categorize the photos so that I won't have to...I think THAT is really cool...gonna have to recharge the phone before I can continue building my photo Library...
SATURDAY 8/24/19 11:43AM--Dianne wants to do something...*I* don't wanna do much of anything...
5:02PM--Now, I don't think we're going anywhere...I'm I'm OK with that...
5:39PM--In Google Photos I can do a search for "women" and see Angela, among others...not gonna make an album outta those pix, just in case...
5:50PM--I think we're going to Baskin-Robbins for dessert...
8:56PM--and so we did...

getting things done

           TUESDAY 8/20/19 9:12PM--most of my laundry is done...I just might completely clean out the litter box; it hasn't been completely cleaned out in years...I bet it's gonna be a Gov't Project...but I wanna try to get it done, hopefully tomorrow...other than an appointment with Dr. Borelli Thursday morning at 10AM,  I don't have to be anywhere (that I know of) until the load-in at three o'clock...as far as I know, the cleaning ladies are coming on Thursday...I'm ahead of schedule with regard to cleaning up around the house, especially my room...
 WEDNESDAY 8/21/19 8:25 AM--it took about 20 minutes, but I put a new filter in the fridge..the actual installation took a few seconds, then what ya have to do is run the water dispenser to clear out, uh, something, I dunno what exactly--relatively dirty water I guess...and the ice maker seems to be working again, although the cubes are really small...
  10:30AM--I'm not sure, but I think the laundry I did yesterday is as dry as it's gonna get...now I'm soaking my left foot in water in order to soften it up so I can apply some goop that's supposed to help eliminate cons and bunions and stuff like that...it's true that I don't use it daily like I should...a basic inability to follow through on stuff...
 11:07AM--I found a doohickey that removes dead skin off of (in my case) my big toe...having used it just now, I would say it looks almost as good as what Dr. Malinsky can do...it kinda looks like a little cheese grater...
 11:16AM--haven't looked it up yet, but I'm totally convinced that clumsiness is a sign of Alzheimer's...
 THURSDAY 8/22/19 8:42AM--watching "adult entertainment" online has become rather depressing...and doesn’t excite me in the least...
10:05-Dr. Borelli is behind schedule...I should be used to that...Dunno how much of a nap I’m gonna get after Lunch...the load-in (for the OTWC open mic) has its’ advantages, but it’s a pain in the ass too...
    FRIDAY 8/23/19 1:30AM--got home from the OTWC awhile ago...spent some time with Colleen--she was explaining Google Photos to me, not that I understood most of what she was telling me...I was surprised and pleased to see Faye at the gig...I had a Project in Mind for later today, but I can't guarantee that I'm gonna get to it...
 8:53AM--actually, I think I might get to that Project today--soon...should be back home by Lunchtime...
         I don't yet know what plans Dianne has for tomorrow...she's going to visit her parents on Sunday and I'm going to practice with the Combustibles...

topsy turvy

      SUNDAY 8/18/19 10:38AM--because (I think) I'm having a late Dinner, I gonna have a late Lunch...and I had a late breakfast...practice allegedly starts at 3:30 which is unusual...that might mean Dinner at 8PM, I suppose...
1:16PM--tried to take an early nap--that idea flopped...as did my attempt to "enjoy" myself...oh well...leaving for Combustibles practice in about an hour and a half...
11:46PM--went to practice, came home...had dinner, going to bed now...
MONDAY 8/19/19 7:45AM--I don't yet know for sure, but there are indications that my primary doctor may no longer working at Comprehensive PrimCare in Rockville...NOBODY told me...fucking great way to start the week...
  9:46PM--it turns out that Dr. Snow IS still at ComPrimCare, he's just not taking any NEW patients...I didn't have any "Levo" to take first thing this morning; I was out of it...miraculously the automatic refill kicked in just before Lunchtime...
     Dianne will be working from home for part of the day tomorrow, but I've forgotten which part...I don't HAVE to wash the rags tomorrow, but I might anyway...and I should probably do some of my clothes as well...it seems like there's always laundry to do...
        Pocket money is tight, but I think I can make it to Wednesday morning...I dunno which credit card bill I should focus on the most--there might be $100 in checking when the SSA check arrives...so do I use it on the Litz credit card or the CapOne credit card? I'm leaning toward paying it to the CapOne card...
TUESDAY 8/20/19 12:36PM--kinda wishing I could still, er, uh, um, "please" myself...even kinda wishing I could "please" Angela...but there are a dozen (or more) reasons that that's never gonna happen...Maybe my "friends" know about whatever is going on between me and Dianne...At the top of the Reasons List is the idea that she doesn't seem to feel the same about me as I do about her--whatever those feelings actually are...and of course there's the possibility that she thinks Dianne and I are more than friends...I guess that's true, in a way...and of course, even if I was the most virile man I could be, Dianne's heart would be broken if  I  "dated" another woman...and, further down the List is my financial handicap...and a little further down is the idea that we might not be all that compatible...Angela seems to like a lot of Music that I can't relate to...and, although she hasn't asked me yet, if she wanted my opinion of her singing, I would have to stretch the truth a bit...

a bad surprise, eventually followed by a miracle

                  THURSDAY 8/15/19 9:31AM--CapOne has done something unexpected with my checking account--they've split it in two...so I gotta go to the bank to find out what's goin' on...as if I wasn't stressed out enough...
10:21AM--the woman at the Bank says everything is A-OK, CapOne has "consolidated their product"...She says I got something in the mail...if I look for it, I probably won't find it so I'm not gonna bother with it right now...
11:33AM--waiting for some guys to come and work on the deck...I don't need to be here...I doubt if I'm gonna get a nap today, especially if those guys show up...
 TWELVE HOURS AND TEN MINUTES LATER (Thursday)--got home from the ITN gig about 15 minutes ago...somebody up there really liked me tonight...on the way to the gig, carpooling with Mike, I realized that I'd left my glasses on top of my car while I changed into my stage shirt....when we got back to Mike's I transferred my Musical gear from Mike's vehicle to mine...I had just gotten outta his driveway, when I remembered the glasses...I assumed they had fallen off the car when I started down the driveway...I went back up into the driveway, didn't find them...so I gave up...as I was getting in the car to come home  I saw that they were still on the roof!!! *I* consider that an absolute miracle...and I am extremely grateful...wow...
  FRIDAY 8/16/19 10:21 AM--I had a relatively late breakfast, so having an early Lunch doesn't make sense to me...it's just that by 1PM, probably a lot sooner, I'm gonna need a nap...I feel like I need one now...
9:45PM--Dianne and I are going to see a movie tomorrow; it's one that SHE wants to see...then we're going to iHOP for dinner (I think) so I don't expect to get home until almost 7:00...which gives me (IMO) no time to shower/shave before I (possibly, hopefully) go to the OTWC...maybe I'll do all that after Lunch, and then it's done and over with..
 SATURDAY 8/1/19 12:15PM--when I came back from Safeway my phone went missing...I went back to the store, but it wasn't there...I took a Xanax and a half cause I was seething...went back out to the car a fifth time and found it--it was next to the gas pedal FACE DOWN and blended in with the floor mat...Dianne thinks we might be home by 6PM--I'll take a shower then...
7:35PM—I didn’t get the nap I hoped I’d  get so I got up at 1:30 and took the shower and the shave and all that stuff and then we went to the movies…  We came home and pretty much turned right back around and went to the OTWC-and that’s where I am now...The reason for being here was mostly social...that has worked out rather well...although it IS hard to listen to a good band when you know the ones you’re in pretty much suck...
11:22PM--so I saw Jessica  and actually sat with Carolyn and Leona--and the lead guitarist's wife, Helen...in spite of having ear plugs in, my ears are ringing LOTS...hope to be in bed in about an hour...will probably be awake before 7AM...so be it...I don't think I embarrassed myself this evening...quite a few people seem to like the hat...it did what it was supposed to do...

did I lose a day somehow?

                TUESDAY 8/13/19 7:05AM--twenty-five minutes ago I was sound asleep...it looks like I got a solid six hours and then some...I woke up and thought  "Dianne should be leaving shortly" and then I remembered what day it is...I was planning to bring the keys upstairs...so, that's not gonna happen...I have to go to Safeway before Lunch, I'm thinking after McHale's Navy...I plan to stop at CVS too...
       I ran outta Vyvance a couple of days ago, so I called and left a message with someone at Family Services--then it occurred to me that I might have a written prescription laying around somewhere...I just found it...I need to go thru that three drawer thing that I sit next to, but it's not an emergency...
       10:30AM--got the Vyvance, took it about 30 minutes ago...the Doctor told me if I didn't take it by lunchtime, DON'T take it--it will keep me up at night...I have that problem most nights already...maybe I should take it first thing in the morning...starting tomorrow, I will...
6PM--Family Services called...Dr. Borelli authorized a temp refill of Vyvance...I'm gonna call them tomorrow and (hopefully) cancel it..
 WEDNESDAY 8:19AM--.waiting for the guy to come and check out the hole in the deck...after that, I'm free...
  10:51AM--the guy hasn't shown up yet...I'm not happy...I thought by now I'd be working on the gizmo, but that's not what I'm doing...I DID just now cancel the unnecessary temporary prescription that Dr. Borelli may have written for me so I could get more Vyvance...
12:43PM--the guy finally showed up, around 11AM and was gone within 15 minutes, more or less...
7:14PM--I was in the mood to "enjoy" myself at nap time, but it didn't happen...that's very frustrating sometimes...I guess I really AM focused on tomorrow's gig...

just what I need, another problem

   FRIDAY 8/9/19 7:40AM--met one of my neighbors walking her dog...the dog was cool...she was kinda hot...apparently, I like 'em a bit on the chubby side...I hope I don't see her again...as for myself, I didn't look so good--because of my hair...oh well...
SATURDAY 9/10/19 9:10AM--I ordered a steering wheel cover from Amazon...it came yesterday...while attempting to attach it to the steering wheel my hand slipped and smacked the windshield...thanks to the watch I was wearing, the windshield now has a noticeable crack in it...sometimes it feels like I can't get a break...I took Muzzy for a walk at about 7:30AM...didn't see, er, uh, my latest (near) obsession...kinda glad actually...
  4:14PM--like almost every "day after" a gig, I'm wiped out...and there's ITN practice tomorrow...I think Dianne and I are going out to Dinner somewhere...probably iHop...that fits my budget and might be better for me health wise...
6:36PM-that’s where we went...I had sirloin tips for the first time...not bad...now we’re at Sam’s Club... I think we’re going to Baskin Robbins when we leave here...
       SUNDAY 8/11/19 10:25AM--hanginng 'round the house, watching TV...gonna pack up some Musical gear to take to practice, after I wash my hair and have Lunch, etc. that is...I probably won't take the gizmo...I don't think the other members of ITN are gonna care either way...I'll just fill the Manchester Bag with cables and stomp boxes...or MAYBE I'll take the gizmo, just for the variety of sounds at my disposal...
 11AM--I plan on having a pre-Lunch appetizer, one hot dog oughta do the trick...
 6PM--gonna have mac&cheese for dinner...I don't expect to do any major stuff this evening except take care of the dishes...
9:25PM--I feel like I wanna do stuff...but I once read somewhere or was told by a therapist that one should try to avoid doing stuff that gets the blood flowing...as many times as I've done it, I still find it a teeny bit exciting to play on the computer, printing stuff--like the set list for next Thursday's gig at the New Deal Café...so I'm not gonna do that...hoping to be in bed at just about Midnight...

that slipped my Mind

         TUESDAY 8/6/19 7:25 AM--it's bad enough that somebody is coming to do some work in and around the house...some of the work involves being in my room...and some of the work is allegedly very noisy...it's gonna be a long LONG LONG day I suspect...for instance, I was planning to watch JAWS starting at 9:00, but I think I'm gonna have to wait until the work is done. Suddenly, being in the basement practicing the keyboard seems like (possibly) the best place to be...
 9:17AM--not anymore, I guess...the guys are here and I can't quite relax enough to practice...so, a bit reluctantly, I'll watch JAWS to kill time...having no idea how long the guys will be here... 
10:30AM- actually this other guy showed up to clean the duct work...should take about an hour he says if everything goes the way it should…No watching TV for me right now- that machine he’s using, which is basically a vacuum cleaner I suppose, is loud enough for me...
           Maybe  I’ll bring my music project out onto the deck… It’s really just rearranging papers and putting them in the folders that I bought yesterday, shouldn’t take too long; It’s comfortable out here right now… 
12:38PM--one of the workmen left...the insulation guys are still here, for how long, I have no idea...hoping for the opportunity to catch a bit of a nap, hopefully starting at about 2PM...
WEDNESDAY 8/7/19 1PM--almost nap time...after that? wash the rags, empty the dishwasher, Dinner, an evening of television, maybe some keyboard practice somewhere in there...
4:17PM--or not, there's still thunderstorm activity in the area...I guess I'll have to wait til tomorrow ...it's weird, I had a pretty good nap but I'm still sleepy or tired or something...
  7:55PM--I usually get so sleepy this time of the day, and that's how I'm feeling now...I don't wanna still be up at Midnight, but I won't be surprised if I am...and of course, I'll likely be awake by 6:30 AM...I was thinking that if Dianne went out tomorrow night I was more likely to go out as well...apparently she's NOT going out...
 10:30PM--just found out that I can't leave the house when the cleaning ladies come around IF some guy comes around at roughly the same time to inspect the work that got done today...oh well...
THURSDAY 8/819 7:33 AM--it's starting to feel like my hobby is "waiting"...I think I want a more interesting hobby...
10:43AM- some of today’s visitors have come and gone… The girls are still here I think... I doubt if they’ll let me know when they’re going to leave, I will just have to take a guess… I have to go out for cheese, bologna and an air freshener for the car…I’m hoping I can get the air freshener at Safeway, I don’t really feel like riding around this morning... I want to be back home by 11:30, if possible… 
 12:05PM--and I was...the girls left at about 11:15AM--I could be in bed by 1:30 or so...after the nap, if I get one, maybe I'll work on the inventory/organization of my Musical gear--not the big stuff of course...just cables,  stompboxes, etc. Or I can work on it tomorrow...that includes the gizmo/powered speaker test...
 FRIDAY 8/9/19 6:35AM--it feels like I have a helluva lotta stuff to do BEFORE loading the car and driving to the gig...quite stressful...

unfortunately I was right

      MONDAY 8/5/19 7:25AM--those two Xanax may have helped me fall asleep, but they're also keeping me from waking up completely now...and I've got homework to do...dunno when I'm gonna get on with it...I'm going to the Bank to put back the $15 I spent on the movie, using the debit card...
 1PM--Muzzy is currently sleeping in my keyboard practice spot...that shouldn't be a problem tomorrow...still feeling groggy from the double dose of Xanax I took overnight, around 3 or 4AM...so it's nap time...
 6:21PM--the Project I was planning on working on probably won't get done today--unless I get a second wind later...one of my Doctors told me that I SHOULDN'T get involved with anything that gets me revved up...it's hard to fall asleep if you're active--especially physically... it's kind of a Musical Project, it can wait one more day...
8:15PM- and of course now is that point in time when I want to do stuff…I’m trying not to do much of anything;  so far I am just about as inactive as I can be and still be awake...I don’t think I will make it past 11 PM...a workman is coming here sometime tomorrow between eight and 10 o’clock…to install more insulation in the “attic”... How long he’s going to be here I have no idea…Dianne will be working from home, except for the time that she will be in Bethesda in a meeting...apparently a brief meeting... I do need to go to a grocery store and buy bread, hot dog rolls and possibly more soda…
10:22PM--kinda surprised I'm still up, but the plan is to hit the hay in a few minutes...I think I'll be going to the grocery store first thing in the morning...might even go to McD's for breakfast...I'll do that first if I do it at all... 

not a surprise

     SATURDAY 8/3/19 7:27PM--so I'll be going to see the Crosby movie alone after all...Dianne is gonna be very busy tomorrow and my going to Brunch with her and her folks would complicate things...so my Plan is to go as early as possible...then I'll have most of Sunday to myself...the first showing (to my knowledge) is 10:30AM, and I intend to be in the theatre by then...
  SUNDAY 10 AM-I'm in my seat at the theater, the very back row, dead center… I am 30 minutes early, but I don’t care… Having M&Ms for breakfast… 
1:34PM--The Crosby biopic may have had a profound effect on me...to a considerable degree, anger directed at other people just might be pointless...and "winning" in ANY kind of conflict/relationship is a hollow, temporary victory...I may have trouble taking the "high road" at first, but that's what I'm gonna try to do from now on...
5:49PM--starting tomorrow I guess...
8:12PM--I said something not too long ago about not depending on my Meds to make me "normal"...I should take some responsibility for that metamorphosis ...but I don't feel like it--that's what depression is all about...my reaction to a Fakebook photo of Angela was to say that she looked sad...someone else said she looked angry...she labeled us "haters"...it took a considerable amount will power to NOT tell her how I feel about her...so much for Woman's intuition, right? or maybe she DOES know and doesn't feel the least bit the same way about me...and yes I admit my attraction (genuine or not) is a physical one...I don't know her well enough to comment on anything except her taste in Music...there seems to be a fair amount of Music she likes that I can't relate to...
        And of course, I'm ME...this is what I look like...I am not as financially secure as I would like to be...and I am not as independent (emotionally and otherwise) as I would like to be...it would break Dianne's heart if I "befriended" another woman...and besides, I am not able to be "intimate" with a woman in a way that she might find satisfying...I'm supposed to say it could be worse...maybe, but it feels bad enough to me, thank you very much...
 2:35AM- can’t sleep… I mean really wide-awake and restless, and I don’t know why… I don’t like it ..took TWO Xanax...should’ve done that instead of taking the Melatonin-THAT was a waste of time...it’s possible that I’ve built up a tolerance to it...PS-I turned the fan on, maybe I need the sound of it to help me sleep...

let the healing begin

    THURSDAY 8/1/19 12:08 PM--Dianne gave me something for my sore leg, but I didn't think it was working so I got some kinda lotion...it MIGHT be working...I'm NOT looking forward to going out tonight...I don't wanna have the meatloaf for Dinner--maybe I'll save it for tomorrow night...I think Dianne and I are going to see the Crosby biopic on Saturday night...that's something to look forward to...
      FRIDAY 12:22AM--I didn't really enjoy myself tonight at the OTWC open mic all that much, but I tried not to be a big downer...I shouldn't go out tonight knowing that I might be going with Dianne to the Germantown flea market early Saturday morning...I'm not quite yet but I'm sure I will be excited to see the Crosby  movie...we're supposed to go on Saturday night, but maybe Sunday afternoon would be better...
  10:47AM--nope, we're sticking with Saturday...Dianne says she's really busy on Sunday...I don't think *I* am, at least not yet...I think she's really gonna need a nap before Dinner after which we're supposed to go to the movie...
4:04 PM--still feeling down...I didn't have the conversation with Barry about the Combustibles--HE said *I* shoulda hung out longer...it was 11:30 when I left the OTWC, that felt late to me...and HE coulda started the conversation if he cared enough about my feelings...
      I guess I'll just have to keep my head down and my Mouth shut...I can't/don't/won't believe that our ex-Bass player Bruce was happy being in the Combustibles...after all, he did leave the band...
9:32PM--I guess it's pointless to try to understand why I seem to be somewhat unpopular...maybe I'm not emotionally available enough, that is,  too introverted or withdrawn or something...or maybe I come off as insincere...I don't know who to ask and frankly, I'm afraid to...I don't even think I should talk to Dianne about all this...I'm pretty sure I won't like what she has to say...
         Bedtime may be about an hour or so away...If I go with Dianne to the G-town flea market I have to be ready by 7AM, more or less...of course if I go to bed before 11 (or earlier) I'll likely be up by 6 o'clock if not sooner...in which case I might be able to make a grocery run to Safeway...
SATURDAY 8/3/19 11AM--ended up going to Giant instead at about 8:30...tried to get a cat nap, but failed...put in some kb practice...but I'm just too tired...wanna be back in bed before 1PM...
2:30PM--not napping yet, but should be any minute now...
5:50PM--I think I got a nap...I was supposed to go to the movies tonight but I don't think it's gonna happen...Dianne has spent most of the day at Home Depot (or Lowe's) so she's not gonna wanna go out tonight...I suppose I could go alone, but I would rather go earlier than a 8:20 showing...maybe tomorrow, or Monday...Dianne's going to brunch with her folks, but I dunno if *I* am gonna go...not 100% sure she wants me to go...