why bother? or now what?

        SATURDAY 6/22/19 8:24AM--somewhat suddenly at about 5AM I started thinking about Angela...I wouldn't mind if she shows up at the OTWC tonight...but I do realize nothing is ever gonna happen--because it CAN'T...even if my "equipment" worked it wouldn't...
           Approximately 10AM-- I don't know what’s wrong with me but, suddenly I don’t feel good...I am quite dizzy, my speech is at  least a little bit slurred; but not so much that Dianne couldn’t understand what I was saying grammatically she just understand what I was saying  intellectually or something…
        1:20PM--not feeling any better...Dianne will likely be going to Unique w/o me...of course, I won't be going out tonight...although miracles DO happen...
  3:27PM--I got a deep, but somewhat short nap...I guess from now on they're going to be 60 minutes long...I almost feel good enuff to go out tonight, but I won't...maybe if it was a band I really liked I'd go...But Built 4 Comfort doesn't do that much for me...a test I gave myself was to climb up a staircase without holding on to railing--that was a cinch....After doing some research, I've come to the conclusion that Vyvance is causing some of my recent problems...my blood sugar number was 137--not good...
                  5:08PM--gonna have half of a Subway sub for Dinner, and have the other half for Lunch tomorrow...
                   7:57PM--I think I'm feeling a lot better, pretty much my normal self...Dianne asked me if I was going out--I said "no"...I don't wanna undo whatever healing I'm experiencing...
                8:08PM--Dianne is guilty of the things she's accusing me of--she's been quite nasty to me since, I think, her Weight Watchers meeting ended...I think she got mad when I accused her of not being supportive enough...I get the impression that she thinks she's been plenty supportive...I don't think she knew what bad shape I was in...
           9:40PM--at this point, I'm (I think) completely back to normal--except for the loud ringing in my ears...I'm starting to get sleepy...c'mon eleven o'clock...