it's not fair...

       FRIDAY 7/31/2020 11:42AM--it's not fair that I should feel so horny (in my head at least) and not be able to act on it...apparently the roomie can still "enjoy" herself--I saw a device in her bed yesterday, partialy covered up, but not completely...made me jealous...

     I found a particularly provocative picture of a ceratain woman I know on Instagram...I was not able to save it in the traditional manner...finally it occured to me that I could take a screenshot of it--so I did...the only thing that woriies me is that the FBI or NSA or somebody could find the various pix on my phone of Women I know...most of those are of Angela...if her Women's intuition was working, she would know I have some kinda feelings for her....the feelings are mostly physical...even if I've lost the ability to act on those feeelings, in my head, I want her so badly I can barely stand it...one of the only benefits of the pandemic is that I won't/can't see her out in public, at someone's gig...SHE might be going out, in fact I'm pretty sure she does...but *I* don't...I think I've blocked her posts on Flakebook...

6PM--I took my daily mid-day nap...was almost ALMOST able to er, uh, "enjoy myself"...I could feel things starting to happen when suddenly they stopped...my attraction/infatuation with Angela led to me create a photo album...it's pathetic, ya don't have to tell me...

9:02PM--added some more photos to the AD album--why? I can't exactly explain it...

an actual honest to goodness Good Day

     WEDNESDAY 7/29/2020 4:25PM--I had a bit of an issue with Comprehensive Primary Care...to make a very VERY long story short, I'm hoping United Health Care will be able to pay the bill...

10PM--now I gotta start thinking about getting an appointment with my new Primary Care Physician...not looking

forward to that...really unhappy about being abandoned by Family Services...Dianne thinks my new PCP can help with that...

THURSDAY 7/29/2020 9:51PM--a relatively unusual day; neither of us left the House...I didn't take care of any of the stuff I need to do...I'M ok with that; not sure that Dianne is, but she's got her own stuff going on...

cleared up THAT mystery

           MONDAY 7/20/2020 4:14PM--I plowed thru some of the mail that I've had trouble facing awhile ago...it turns out that ENVISION INSURANCE is apparently a part of United Health Care after all...I hope to call somebody tomorrow to talk about this stuff...I would prefer a real flesh and blood human being...we'll see...

WEDNESDAY 7/22/2020 10:45AM--haven't called anybody yet...I don't feel like it...don't feel like doing much of anything...after being beaten up on that West Wing website that I've liked in the past, I stopped following it...who needs the aggravation, right? I can still steak in for a visit...

THURSDAY 7/23/2020 4:16PM--still more or less stuck at home, except for visits to the grocery store...I'm OK with that...with the exception of Lou, I don't wanna see any of my so-called "friends"...

FRIDAY 7/24/2020 8:51PM--I think Dianne and I are going to Gettysburg tomorrow...I don't think she's handling being quarantined as well as *I* am...Other than the Battlefield stuff, I dunno what else goes on up there...

SATURDAY 7/25/2020 6:37PM--so we went to Gettysburg this morning...visited an antique store, a diner, where we had Lunch, and an Outlet Center...For 99 cents I bought a book at the antique store...I did not buy a book from Book Warehouse...we got back home at 2:30...got a little bit of a nap...the book I ordered from Amazon came today...I've started reading it...

SUNDAY 7/26/2020 4:22PM--going over to Dianne's sister's house...hoping to have a cheeseburger for Dinner...I THINK she's gonna "suggest" wearing a mask...it's very hot and humid outside...oh well...hope to be home before 9PM...we'll see...

MONDAY 7/27/2020 4:50PM--my ex-brother-in law has made considerable progress on the violin...I'm stunned...I might not owe Comprehensive Primary Care almost $300--IF United Health Care covers me...I guess I'll look into that tomorrow...well, I can stop fantisizing about a certain woman living nearby...she's moved away...oh well...

add them to the list

        SUNDAY 7/18/2020 4PM--I never hear from certain  acquaintances from my past...I knew that some of them are on Flakebook; I dunno if they ever think about me, but I think about them--if only occaisionally...I just found out that two of the guys I hung out with in the early/mid 70s (in a certain band) are also on Flakebook...I dunno that they ever wonder what happened to ME...As far as I can tell they don't...it hurts my feelings a bit...So that's Shelley, Mark, Grimes, Tim Henn, Roy, Jim G., and a couple more...I just found Roy and Jim about an hour ago...I wondered about Roy more than a little; Jim? not as much, but still...

5:50PM--Dianne's cousin just did a live concert on Instagram...I didn't watch or listen...the Musician in me is in Intensive Care in serious condition...and I don't care...

9:05PM--twenty-four hours ago I went to bed and slept for most of the next eleven hours...tonight I'm gonna try to make it to Midnight...as for tomorrow, don't ask...

baby steps are all I can manage

         TUESDAY 7/14/2020 10:18AM--well, the first step was to organize the various notices I've been getting in the mail...I'm about halfway through that I think...I feel as though I need to know for sure if my MediCAID coverage has been terminated or not...I went to CVS and got a bunch of drugs for only $10 dollars, so I have some kinda insurance...There are phone calls I need to make, but I haven't made 'em yet...Hopefully this afternoon I'll try for the third time to get thru to Family Services...

WEDNESDAY 7/15/2020 11PM--Life isn't getting any better...it doesn't matter who or what's to blame...I don't feel like doing anything--this, watching TV, playing guitar...the only pleasure I'm getting is sleeping...

THURSDAY 7/16/2020 6:04PM--I called Family Services yet again...left a message...Contacted GEICO, solved the problem I was having...a small victory, but a victory nonetheless...

9:41PM--Flakebook is slowly introducing a new look...I just got it about five minutes ago...it's ok, not worth cheering about, but I'm gonna test it out...at some point I won't be able to go back to the "classic" look, so I'll just get used to it...

FRIDAY 4/17/2020 11:37AM-so Diane and I went to that antique place – it’s called Chartreuse, I don’t know why… And now we’re on our way home with a stop off at McDonald’s… I should be napping  by 1:30 or so…

8:28PM-watching an episode of STAR TREK...the plan is to watch THE WEST WING soon...an episode or two, maybe more...maybe...

why now all of a sudden?

     THURSDAY 7/9/2020 11:20AM-- I thought I had gotten over the fact that "self-pleasure" was, for me, a thing of the past...lately, I've missed that activity more than usual...FWIW, I got a slight tingle from looking at adult videos yesterday...very slight...which, I think, is worse than none at all...

        Lately, I've been thinking (a lot) about a certain woman...not sure why exactly...Seeing Angela sitting at a table with some friends, NOT practicing social distancing has really shaken me up...that and seeing an actual "friend" behaving the same way has had a profound effect on me...I thought SJ was smarter than that...speaking of SJ, apparently Nancy is having emotional/psychological problems--THAT worries me...

THURSDAY 7/9/2020 11PM--still really bummed about my apparent impotence...it was inevitable...but knowing that doesn't help...and I have re-discovered a certain adult website, which compounds my depression with regard to NOT being able to "enjoy " myself...

SATURDAY 7/11/2020 6:32PM-- I have no idea what's going on in her world, but a woman I used to know seems to be losing her Mind...she's in the hospital...I'm fairly scared...

SUNDAY 7/12/2020 9:48 PM--I don't think I can stay up until Midnight tonight--my visit to Damascus took place at that point in time when I would normally be attempting to take a nap...Dianne and I had most of a Potomac Pizza for Dinner...because of that, I'm trying NOT to eat anything while I'm sitting here watching TV...eating because yer bored might be the worst reason to eat...and it could cause problems later...I would rather have an uneventful night of sleep with regard to my digestive system...

We got out for some air...and water...

   

           FRIDAY 7/3/2020– We made it to Cunningham State Park, specifically the lake… We were both in the water for a few minutes and then Dianne had a an accident on the way back to our table… So I think we’re getting ready to leave to go back home-that suits me just fine... There’s no social distancing going on here and that’s making us both a little nervous… We do have our masks...

SUNDAY 7/5/2020 4:49PM--I still don't feel like doing anything...when the most exciting thing going on is Dinner, well, that's a pathetic Life, innit? Not looking forward to tomorrow...oh well...

TUESDAY 7/7/2020 8:56PM--Monday has come and gone...I found out that Dr. Malinsky's office does not recognize my new insurance company and this is AFTER I cancelled the appointment, which the scheduler seemed to be unaware of...

11:46PM--I've been hanging around Fakebook a LOT lately...so much for leaving it...but I just put up my explanation as to why I'm trying to fade away...