Looking forward to the time AFTER 1/1/20

        SUNDAY 12/29/19 3:36 PM-maybe it’s because of the yucky weather, but today has been a really boring Sunday… I expect tomorrow will be more of the same...
6:11PM--I've spent a lot of my time today  napping; I tried watching some movies that I recorded, but I didn't really feel like it...Dianne went out alone to do some shopping...As for Monday and Tuesday, I have no idea what I'm doing...I dunno what Dianne is doing either...
       MONDAY 12/30/19 12:40 PM--after my likely post-lunch nap, I'll probably go to CVS--my "Levo" is ready...as for tomorrow, Dianne wants to do something special for Dinner on New Year's Eve...I dunno why, exactly...we might end up at iHOP...then there's New Year's Day, a very boring day to me...stuff may be open for part of the day, but it's not business as usual...maybe Life will get back to normal on Thursday...
  8:36 PM--FHB practice is a somewhat normal thing, THAT'S happening on Thursday..as for Tuesday, which is New Year's Eve, Dianne and I are gonna be fairly busy...going to a couple of thrift shops, and planning to have Lunch with Linda, who will hopefully bring my wireless phone charger to the Silver Diner...
10:31PM--as for New Year's Day, I'm completely in the dark with regard to what's going on around here; I guess Dianne might plans, but I dunno what they are...
TUESDAY 12/31/19 I'm staying in tonight, keeping Dianne company...I don't really wanna go out...SHE might have wanted to, I'm not sure    
10:33 PM--the one night of the year where it's fairly important to stay up until Midnight...and I don't wanna...                                                                     

the morning after

     FRIDAY 12/27/19 9:55 AM-I guess one way or another I’m going to learn the concept of  patience...I made a deal with Vera Thayer to meet her at 2 o’clock this afternoon to get the money that we were paid last night…The ATM next to the OTWC was down, and there was no Plan B...
        I think now that I should’ve made the time of the rendezvous  a lot earlier…I’m going to go crazy here in Rockville with nothing to do except clean up and re-pack to go back to Gaithersburg; It won’t take all morning to do those two things... Eating lunch won’t take all that long either...
          I’ve been struggling with self-doubt lately, with regards to my musical ability if not everything else…I seem to be getting a lot of positive feedback on Flakebook this morning...that makes me feel good, at least for now...
2:54 PM-in about an hour, at 4 o’clock, I will feed the cat and head over to the Thayer’s to get last night’s gig money...I’m going to try to go to the MVA tomorrow morning; I can’t guarantee that I’ll get the mission accomplished, but there’s always Monday, which is my absolute last chance to get the job done…The job being the re-registration of my vehicle… Dianne probably won’t be home when I get back to Gaithersburg, so I’ll be having dinner by myself… I hope the hot dogs do not spoil between now and 5:30...
       I was thinking of possibly maybe going out tonight, but I’ve changed my mind about that, for various reasons...I don’t know what’s going on tomorrow; I think we’re going to Unique…I STILL don’t need anything as far as I know…
5:45 PM--back in Gburg--yaaaay...should be in bed by 11PM, hopefully no sooner...
SATURDAY 12/28/19 7:30AM---I guess I got about 7 hours sleep...went to Safeway to get “breakfast” and now I’m at the MVA with about eight other people...hoping to be back home by 9AM...it’s pretty damn cold out here... I suspect I’ll get sick from being here, waiting outside in the cold for the doors to  open...
 1:25 PM--spent no more than 15 minutes in the MVA...with some assistance I used The Kiosk, got my sticker...I'm good for two years...
 4:45 PM--spent most of the day napping, until I started getting a headache...so I'm up but still doing next to nothing...probably going to have Wendy's for dinner...although it will probably be dark by the time I go...
6:45 PM--maybe I've slept too much, but I'm having trouble keeping my eyes open NOW...

a movie and chinese food for dinner

     WEDNESDAY 12/25/19 9:21 AM--now I'm here in G-burg...Dianne and I are going to the movies and then we're having an early Chinese Dinner...I hope to be back in Rockville by about 6 PM...coming back up here tomorrow  is not my idea...I'm taking Butterscotch and the Paisley Bag back to M&L's...I wanna go from Rockville to the OTWC load-in, come back have dinner then go back to play the open mic...
10:46 AM--I seem to be quite a bit busier here in G-burg than I am in Rockville...not liking that...There is stuff I can watch in Rockville if I'm up to it...
3:45 PM--so I saw LITTLE WOMEN and liked it ok...getting ready to go across the street and have Chinese food (lemon chicken) for Dinner...could be back in Rockville by 5:30...Gonna go to the MVA on Monday, the 30th, although that's cutting it super duper close...
        I'm kinda busy right now; I'll think about you-know-who once I get back to Rockville...the car is loaded up for the gig tomorrow...I'm gonna unload the car rather than leave the stuff in it...it will be pretty dammed cold overnight...
7:15PM-If I don’t perk up soon, I will be in bed by 10 o’clock…and awake again by 3AM, more or less...gonna try to stay up until Midnight if at all possible...
 Well i’ve made it to 10 o’clock, maybe I can go another hour or so...
THURSDAY 12/26/19 9 AM-I made it all the way to midnight and I didn’t wake up until about 7 o’clock…that’s a surprise...I think that whatever practicing I’m going to do today will be after I get back from the load in… Just like any other day, I don’t have the energy yet, and I probably won’t have any till mid afternoon…
       But, of course, it’s not just any other day, is it? Somewhere, assuming she still alive, a certain woman that I knew a long long LONG time ago (and just might have been in love with) is turning 66 today...I can’t EVEN imagine what she would look like today…And naturally, I wonder if she’s ever thought of me even once in the past 45+ years... I consider the possibility that I might end up with Alzheimer’s disease, but my memories of her are strong... Actually a lot of my younger memories are strong, so maybe Alzheimer’s is not something I need to worry about...
    I remember losing a lot of sleep thinking about her in those days... going to Normandy lanes on route 40 – I don’t really remember the bowling, but I’m absolutely certain that’s why we went there…I’ll never forget going to the Howard County fair – I don’t think we went more than once, but I remember it...her actual “boyfriend” was stalking us most of the time that we were there…Debbie ducked into the ladies room, which left me alone with Rick... talk about awkward…
      And of course there was the trip to Nags Head NC in the summer of 1970(?) with me and my parents… I really hope to find some photos from that trip, I’ve already found a couple, but she’s not in them... I think the last time I saw her was when Mark Lysher and I drove all the way over to her parents house from Mark’s house  to see her... it was a 30 minute ride if not more… she was washing what I think might have been her car – the way *I* remember the visit, she was not alone...
       I kept the many letters she wrote to me from Frostburg State College for the longest time before finally throwing them away... and of course now I wished I had saved at least some of them...I used to have a framed portrait of her dressed  to go to her senior High prom…she wore a short (but not too short IMO) white dress and white shoes… I kept THAT for the longest time before getting rid of it...
      In the early 80s I ran into her best friend Sharon in the supermarket…She married one of Debbie’s cousins-David Abbott to be specific... he and I and his brother Vestal were reunited… they actually came out to see me at a gig with the Last Chance Band; and I think that was the last time I saw them...and I wonder if THEY have ever once thought of about me since then…
     I was reunited with a guy I knew in high school; He came out to see me play, but I haven’t seen him since…I don’t let political differences affect my relationships...but apparently a lot of people do… I never hear directly from Bill Grimes, even though he and I are on Facebook... and I never ever hear from Larry Mueller and (I think) he has a Facebook account but I don’t think he uses it…Kind of like Dianne-she still has her account but never uses it…

three days is enough

     MONDAY 12/23/19 8:51 AM--I have/had a "to do" list, but I decided that some of the stuff can be done tomorrow, specifically laundry...and even THAT isn't absolutely essential...I DO have to pack for the three day stay in Rockville...that will have to wait until tomorrow...and we're out of Fudgesicles, I'll have to go get some...
       11:06 AM--so I did and I stopped off at CVS to buy a toy to donate to the Derwood Xmas Party...I THINK I can afford $10 dollars...whether I can or not, it's a done deal...I dunno fer sure, but I think/hope Linda will have some money waiting for me when I arrive in Rockville tomorrow at 4:00 or so...I'll use it to get my car registration...hopefully there will be some left over...
   TUESDAY 11:22 AM--I should be packing for Rockville, but I don't yet feel like it...after my nap, which hardly ever lasts as long as I want it to, THEN I'll pack...I should stop at Giant on the way to Rockville to (if nothing else) buy tonight's Dinner...whatever it's gonna be...I'm thinking hot dogs and rolls...and though I don't want to, I should probably buy a bit more stuff while I'm at the store...I suspect it will be crowded...
4:47 PM-well here I am in Rockville for tonight, Wednesday Thursday and most of Friday… I bought $30 worth of groceries, that should be more than enough to last the three days… Mike and Linda are paying me $100 which is fair, but I can’t keep the money...the motor vehicle administration will get the money…and some of mine as well... But let me be clear, I’m grateful for the $100…
5:35 PM-finally enjoying myself here in Rockville – I’m not doing anything, and I’m OK with that… I guess I could have/should have gotten today’s mail, but I didn’t feel like it...
7:08 PM-Dianne’s feeling rather lonely in G-Burg by herself, I don’t know why… We’re going to the movies together tomorrow to see Little Women... There is nothing else to do on Christmas day…
9:49PM-considering how yucky I felt yesterday emotionally, I feel really good this evening… On the other hand I’m starting to think of what December 26th means... Does she EVER think about me? Assuming of course that she is still alive… Way WAY back when, when she and I were connected, if only barely, I read a book called BE HERE NOW…I keep trying to do that but I deliberately keep going back in time as well...The body of the man who wrote that book completely  stopped working a couple of days ago...
10:49 PM-One of the things I do when I’m bored as I eat and I’ve been doing a lot of that here this evening I don’t know if I’m bored or tired or both or what but I do think I’ll be in bed before midnight...
WEDNESDAY 12/25/19-just got back to Rockville from Gaithersburg… Went to the movies, saw Little Women…Went to a Chinese restaurant and had dinner and now I’m in Rockville, chilling... there’s not a whole lot on TV but there’s enough to keep me occupied, at least for a little while...

getting ever closer then stopping suddenly

           FRIDAY 12/20/19 8:07 AM--I've only got about $60 left to pay on my Litz account until it's paid off...I'm sooo tempted to buy something, but what? Don't answer that...a Telecaster? an electric 12 string? The Tele idea kinda makes sense, but the newer electric XIIs by Fender have the same kind of bridge as my fake Strat, so why bother?...what I might do is trade my Bass in for store credit then buy a Bass that is easier on my hand...I wanna wait for awhile, think about it a bunch before I do anything...
         10:44 AM--I just spent $10.00 to get information that I thought might pertain to DLH's Father...his addresses DO go back to Ellicott City, but not back to the 70s...I'm not willing to risk contacting him unless I'm 110% sure he's Debbie's Father...if I knew what her Mother's first name is/was, I'd be a bit more sure...but there's no mention of him having a daughter...so, for now I'm giving up...
          Awhile back I ran outta Vyvance...*I* think that in addition to keeping me awake during what would normally be naptime, it was making me edgy, and short-tempered...I was gonna get more, but then I started feeling less edgy, etc. so I decided to stop taking it...so far, I'm glad I did...
      Partially because I went out last night and partially because I wanna save myself for Monday, I probably won't go anywhere tonight or Saturday night...
    SATURDAY 12/21/19 9AM--As for Sunday, I will likely go have brunch with my ex-in-laws...and I should start prepping for the Derwood Xmas show...
7:31 PM--Dianne told me that Sue told her that Billy told Sue that Nancy told Billy that a Doctor told Nancy that she has Alzheimer's...I absolutely think Nancy should get a second opinion...in fact, I think that's the plan...but the news is very depressing to me...
SUNDAY 12/22/19 11:15 AM--the news about Nancy is still affecting me...as is seeing photos of Angela on Flakebook...in both cases, I find myself thinking about what might have been...in both cases, my attraction to either of them is based on "physical desire"; I think I am/was only marginally compatible with them both...on the other hand, Dianne and I have our differences too...Nancy is now and just about always has been too far away from me geographically...and I never saw any signs that she felt the same way about me as I think I felt about her...
      As for Angela, *I* think I've creeped her out...and I think she probably knows how I feel about her...she may even know that my feelings have more to do with amorous desire than any emotional or intellectual connection...and the sad part is that I'll never know what it's like to be "intimate" with her or any other woman, because that "machinery" no longer works...and even if it DID,  how could I do that to Dianne? Married though we no longer are...so that's that...

I'll forget what I saw in time

         MONDAY 12/16/19 12:29 PM--I was on my way from Litz to Giant when I saw a car accident actually happening...it wasn't just a little fender bender either...Slowly but surely I'll forget about it...hopefully by sundown today...I hope everyone involved is OK...
4:55 PM--I've got $15 in my pocket; that's enough to last through Tuesday if I don't buy anything...but I will need cheese and baloney...and Dinner for tomorrow...
8 PM-another unusual event...but way more harmless than the one I saw this morning…There was no synopsis for tonight‘s episode of Star Trek – TOS available from the onscreen guide so I looked it up online; it’s a good one in my opinion so that’s what I’m doing – which is what I usually do this time of day during the week… as for what happens after Star Trek, who knows? 
   I sure do wish tomorrow was Wednesday instead of being Tuesday… I’ll be OK if I don’t buy anything...I DO need to get cheese, baloney...
WEDNESDAY 12/18/19 9:53 AM--the SSA check came overnight; later than usual, but it came...kinda sad how THAT makes me happy...whereas band practice makes me nervous, even though I'm playing Music...
10:10 PM--just chillin' after band practice, thinking about what I might or might not do tomorrow evening...unless I'm forgetting something, I have no commitments lined up for Thursday...I'm OK with that...
THURSDAY 12/19/19 7:43 AM--I want(ed) to go out tonight, but I'm not at all sure it's gonna happen...seemingly, the Thursday open mic at the OTWC will include some sort of Xmas carol segment...I can do without that...
 4:12 PM--But I'm probably gonna go anyway, if for no other reason than to get dessert...after searching vainly for a specific size of shoe strings, I reluctantly turned to Amazon...I'll get 'em on Saturday...better late than never I keep telling myself...
11:40PM-I just saw one of my crushes dancing with another woman… I suppose it’s possible that one of them is a lesbian, but which one?  OOOPS, Colleen was dancing with GARY, the drummer for tonight’s open mic, he has very long hair...SHEESH...

Just gotta grin and bear it

     THURSDAY 12/12/19 8 PM-starting to get nervous about Saturday’s gig-the logistics seem to be quite formidable… Like it or not, tomorrow’s dinner will be meatloaf…If I had the money I’d likely go to Wendy’s...but I don’t...so I won't...
SATURDAY 12/14/19 11:25 AM-yesterday I suddenly had a chat sidebar on FB...it wasn't my idea...and just now, when I was about to give up trying to get rid of it, I got rid of it...I just push buttons until I get what I want...I think somebody up there likes me, today at least...
 SUNDAY 12/15/19 1:30 AM--someone else DIDN'T like me though...I forgot to bring
1) one of my stomp box cables (lucky for me Geoff had one... 2) the keyboard stand (luckily Stu brought his, although it left when he did after which I used some bizarre looking thing belonging to the Moose Lodge)...and 3) the setlist with notations for STU...And the half-sub I looked forward to eating after the gig disappeared...
10:25 AM--I enabled a new IOS 13 feature in to my Phone, and now I can't get rid of it...but I really want to...And I’m gonna keep trying Until I do it...
11:20 AM-Well, it took me an hour but I got rid of it… I didn’t like my phone repeating back to me every freaking thing I said… I don’t think it will do that anymore, at least for the time being…
  5:12 PM-I would say most of the features that are being described as new have been on my phone at least a couple of  weeks now...like the slide to type feature...I can use it, but I see no special advantage in using it...
MONDAY 12/16/19 7:45 AM--due to inclement weather, some, if not all, of my Plans are on hold...we'll see what the weather will be like later, say three o'clock or so...

what other day could it be?

      MONDAY 12/9/19 8:30 AM--If I'm even moderately smart, I'll go back to bed...and stay there...and at the most, I AM only moderately smart...so far, I've had a considerable amount of trouble getting the gig money from PayPal to my checking account...even now I dunno if the $80 is being moved or not...Last week I left my "Lena hat" at Butch's (?) house...that's OK I have a spare, except that I've lost that one too...I bought one from Safeway of all places--for $2.00 dollars...I wonder how long I'll have THAT one...
   12:09 PM--I fell asleep watching MASH...I dreamed that I woke up from a nap and remembered that I forgot to put away the TWO pizzas I had gotten...upon checking the boxes, I find that they're topped with green peppers, which I would never deliberately order and they have been disrupted somehow and were a complete mess...maybe I'm supposed to have the mini pizza I bought yesterday...I can have the mac&cheese some other day...
TUESDAY 12/10/19 8 AM--I had the mac&cheese after all...weather permitting, I'm going to Hershey's for karaoke tonight...Liliana may be interested...
THURSDAY 12/12/19 12:11 PM--I DID go to Hershey's Tuesday evening...and I went to FHB rehearsal on Wednesday..now I'm waiting for the cleaning ladies and having Lunch, which consists of two hot dogs! I can't remember the last time I didn't have the usual--two cheese and baloney sandwiches...as for Dinner, THEN I will have the samiches...
3:15-the girls showed up at about 2:30; they should be gone by the time I get home from the grocery store...I’m sitting in the parking lot killing time...I felt like I HAD to charge ‘em and that’s what I did...if Saturday’s gig gets cancelled for any reason, I’m screwed big time...I’m hoping to come home with at least $60 bucks, which gives me $20 dollars to live on till Wednesday morning...
Just saw TWO V-22s flying overhead...maybe on their way to Andrews...I dunno for sure but I think they flew to somewhere FROM somewhere a fair amount recently...
6 PM--staying in tonight, if for no other reason than it's too cold outside...bad for acoustic guitars, bad for the throat...

What’s done is done

 
       SATURDAY 12/7/19 6:53 AM-it looks like I have an app on my phone that possibly makes having those lenses I bought unnecessary...like most apps there is no instruction manual…it cost me $2.99...I believe that's a one time charge...while there is no hard copy of a manual, there is (surprise!) an article online that seems to tell me everything I would wanna know...
                I still think I have next to nothing to do all day except go to the Bank, which I'm gonna do on my way to McD's...9:37 AM--McD's STILL isn't open yet, although the remodeling looks done to me...I DID manage to get to the Bank...the movie I'm currently watching (The Great Escape) will get me to Noon, more or less...Dianne just left for Annapolis...I expect her to be back before I leave for Virginia...
SUNDAY 12/8/19 3:09 PM--yesterday I went to Arlington VA., played a gig then came home...tthis morning I built myself a Manual for the Camera + app that I have installed on my phone...allegedly it can be used to TAKE pictures, but I don't think it's doing that yet...What *I* can use it for is to EDIT the photos once I've taken them using iPhone 8 technology...
6:31 PM--just got home from watching a couple of friends play at a winery...took a couple of photos...Dunno what's going on tomorrow or Tuesday but I think there's an FHB practice on Wednesday...which means if there's an open mic at Hershey's on Wednesday I won't be there...If there's one at the Grape Escape on Thursday, I MIGHT be there...
 7:25 PM--it looks like I'm gonna have to dip into my checking account tomorrow or Tuesday...I don't think the $5 dollars in my pocket will last until Lunchtime tomorrow much Tuesday...hopefully the gig money will be available Tuesday morning...

photography vs. Music

       THURSDAY12/5/19 9:55 AM--doing Laundry, playing around with my iPhone 8 as a camera...actually tried printing a picture from my Google Photos Library, a photo I stole from somebody (Arlene) on Flakebook...*I* think it looks good...I used the Photo app that came with my Toshiba laptop...
10:30 AM--still playing with photos, specifically trying to print certain ones...
 4:21 PM--Mike & Linda are going away and I'm housesitting, from the 24th until I don't yet know when...and I'll be doing it again in January...I dunno for sure but I THINK they pay me $20 a day...
5:04 PM--turns out there are some things I CAN'T do on a laptop with regard to photos...
6:08 PM--just might take some pix at the OTWC tonight...it's something to do...
FRIDAY12:33 AM--just got in from the OTWC a few minutes ago...took a few pictures, made some new acquaintances...had dessert...schmoozed a bunch...yeah yeah, I'm glad I went...
9:20 AM--it feels like a good day, so far...as far as I know, I have no major items on my "to do" list...I have no plans to go out tonight...I think Dianne might be going to visit Sue in Annapolis tomorrow...I think she'll enjoy her visit more if I don't go...she seems to be OK with that idea...after all, I have a gig tomorrow night...
          Some of the pix I took last night seem to be getting positive feedback on Flakebook from the subjects of those photos...I decided I wasn't gonna let Stoney or anyone else run me off of any social networks...
12:29 PM--again, maybe I shouldn't say anything, but it's been a good day so far...of course being able to open a can of string beans for Muzzy's Lunch (with that crazy can opener) wouldn't be a big deal to anyone else, but I'm not anyone else...
 8:47 PM--I don't want to but I think I have to go to the Bank tomorrow and get $40 to last until I get the gig money...Dianne is scheduled to leave for Annapolis at about 10 AM...I'm scheduled to leave for the gig at about 6:30...I dunno why, but having Saturday to myself is exciting...Pretty sure Dianne will be back before I leave... 

feeling pretty down all of a sudden

   
        TUESDAY 12/3/19 9:43 PM--between Stoney whining at me and being childishly angry at me and Barry leaving me out of a Combustibles FB Event (as an Administrator) and wondering why I never hear from certain Musicians I was in a band with--I thought we were friends, guess I was wrong--I'm feeling pretty down...
           I think (and hope) I just locked everybody out of my FB profile page...I feel good about THAT...now (I think) all I have to do is stay off of it myself...let's see if I get any phone calls or e-mails from anybody...not gonna hold my breath...was gonna stay home in the evening until Saturday, then I remembered that Lou is planning to go to Hershey's on Wednesday...I probably told him I would too...right NOW I don't want to...
WEDNESDAY 12/4/19 8:17 AM--gotta go to the grocery store and CVS...I probably should do Laundry but I don't feel like it...hope to be napping by 2 PM or so...likely going to Hershey's tonight, maybe that will make me feel better...or maybe it won't...
3:57 PM--taking a shower helped a teeny bit to make me feel a teeny bit better...As far as I know, I've still got nothing going on until Saturday...
 5:42 PM--leaving for Hershey's soon...have no idea what songs Lou and I are gonna do, don't much care...
THURSDAY 12/5/19 7:27 AM--the way I see it I have three choices for how I spend my Thursday evening...I could go to the OTWC or The Grape Escape or stay home...It's early yet, but that third choice seems to be the front runner...
 9:20 AM--Except that after being in the house all day long I might need to get out a little...and yet that's doesn't seem to be a problem on Mondays or Tuesdays, right?