procrastination sometimes comes from fear

WEDNESDAY 12/5/18 9:44AM--gonna try to re-enroll in Medicaid shortly...whatever happens, I'll  be glad when it's over with...
               So I made a couple phone calls, and got it done, quickly-in fact I allegedly got it done back in October… All that anxiety for nothing;  if I was up to it physically I would do the Snoopy dance... I might be in the recording lab after my nap; but I can’t guarantee that…I’ll  probably have pizza for dinner, one oughta be enough, right?
              Well, it has taken 37 years, but the stereotype regarding the Jewish people and their stinginess just came up this morning...I was happy when I left for CVS, but I'm not happy now...maybe the two Xanax I took will help...or not...The tension was broken, things are back to "normal"...
         3:25PM--I'm gonna go work in the basement shortly...things should be very different when I'm finished...
      4PM--things are only a little different...oh well...I ran outta energy very quickly, if I had any to begin with...because of the two Xanax I guess...could be in bed before 11PM...
THURSDAY 11:53am--I was in bed before 11PM and outta bed this morning by about 8:30 or so...I'm still probably gonna go to the open mic tonight...I wanna try to pay attention to the songwriters...if I can sit by myself that will be easier...
4:43 PM--I can hardly fucking wait until the roomie is all better...then she'll be running her own fucking errands...
FRIDAY 7:30AM--didn't sleep well at all, couldn't turn my Brain off...dunno when/if I'm gonna get a mid-day nap, the roomie has a Doctor's appointment at 1PM...we're leaving here at 12:10...what I'm doing and when is up to the grocery delivery people...
6:32PM--got the groceries at about 9:30 or so...had an early Lunch...got back home from Bethesda at about 2PM or so...the nap lasted almost two hours...
6:55PM should be in bed by 11PM...I ate (like almost always) TWO frozen Fettuccine Alfredo dinners...they feel quite heavy in my tummy...
SATURDAY--I WAS in bed by 11PM and slept until about 7AM...just killing time before I have an early Lunch and go to Rockville...yeah, I'm getting nervous...