she needs one more than I do

 

                        SUNDAY 5/30/21 7:38AM--in about three hours Dianne and I will be on our way to Annapolis...8:49AM--first we drop the dog off at her "hotel" and then we'll be on our way to "Naptown"...
                        We're paying a mutual friend a visit; for how long *I* have no idea...in fact that visit is the part of the trip I'm looking forward to the least...the mutual friend introduced me to Dianne in the first place; she has become rather ditzy (?) as the years go by...there seems to be so much she's unaware of...and IMO she doesn't seem to mind being clueless...I suspect her MS may have at least a little to do with that...and my short fuse (also a recnt developement) doesn't help ... 
MONDAY 5/31/21 9:25AM-today is going to be an unexpected day of fun – Ray is playing at Pirates Cove this afternoon… I guess we’ll  be having an early dinner; it’s a good thing they have pizza...
1:36PM-had a really nice lunch on the dock in Annapolis… yet ANOTHER burger…now we’re just killing time before we go to Pirates Cove; I think there’s more shopping in our future – maybe even MY future…might buy a pair of shorts…UPDATE--but I didn't...
8:11PM--got home about twenty minutes ago...did the trash, which was sightly easier than usual...should be in bed by MIDNIGHT, if not sooner...
TUESDAY 6/1/21 7:26AM--had an omlette AND some cereal for breakfast, not that I was all THAT hungry--I wasn't...but now I'm outta milk; gonna go to Safeway to get more, it's quicker than going to Giant--I won't need soda until Thursday if not Friday...I don't think I NEED anything other than milk...
 I got quite a surprise this morning--the SSA check is in the bank...so I paid $200 towards my Visa bill, which leaves me with $800 to live on for the next month...and I have $89 bucks in my pocket...shouldn't say it outloud but for right now, Life is Good...
7:57AM--I'm expecting Dianne to sleep until at least 10AM, but I think I just heard her stirring upstairs...at some point we have to go get Muzzy...
9:39AM--went to Safeway, bought some stuff and came home...
WEDNESDAY 6/2/21 4:35PM--The cleaning ladies showed up at about 2:30 and left I'm not exactly sure when...to kill time (and stay WAY outta their way) I went to Litz and got acoustic gtr. strings...didn't get the nap I'd hoped for...so maybe I'll get some sleep tonight...

no plans--yet

 

      FRIDAY 5/28/21 8:40AM--other than a trip to CVS, I have nothing planned for today...which doesn't mean that Dianne doesn't have plans for me...we'll find out soon enough...
11AM--I thought the cicadas had either left altogether or had gone somewhere else...apparently I was wrong...in Medical News, because I haven't pooped since my procedure, I've called the Doctor...waiting to hear back from him...
4:39PM--heard back from the Doctor... "eat some prunes" is his remedy for my not pooping...I actually had my first movement since the procedure at about 12:30(PM) or so today, before the Doctor's office called...went to CVS, got FOUR Welbutrin tablets...gonna have to call the Doctor on Tuesday...
SATURDAY 5/29/21-4:55PM hanging out at the ex-in-laws…celebrating Deborah’s graduation from something…can’t wait to get back home…
6:43PM-Dinner and dessert were nice enough…but I’m definitely ready to go home…I’m pretty much invisible, even to Dianne…probably the least amount of fun I’ve had visiting with my ex-in-laws...
10:02 PM--got home about an hour and a half ago...trying a new substance to help me sleep, among other things...magnesium malate...it comes recommended by a pair of trusted experts...
10:49PM--I think one of my hats will be on my head whenever I go out in public...today I wore the "Lou Sessa" hat...it's actual name (style) is Fedora...dunno if I'm gonna wear any other ones...and of course, it will be quite uncomfortable once Summer comes...which is true of any hat I may wear...

The Big Day

 

            MONDAY 5/24/21 8AM-in about five hours, I should be completely finished with the colonoscopy experience…but apparently I can’t just gobble down whatever I want afterwards...dammit...I think I can have an omelet, and I absolutely intend to, no matter what time it may be...I don't think my digestive system could BE any more cleaned out...but again, I'm not a doctor...
         5:03PM--My personal medical nightmare is over...like I almost always do, I was freaked out for next to no reason...I DO feel a bit "oogy" now, but that's to be expected...gonna keep a low profile tomorrow, more or less...I hope to go completely back to "normal" life on Wednesday...
9:20PM--my digestive system may take a day or two to return to its' "normal" condition, which in reality has never been normal... 
TUESDAY 5/25/21 5PM--still feeling a teeny bit "oogy", should be fully recovered by the time I leave for KH tomorrow, around 3:30 or so...
WEDNESDAY 5/26/21 9:14AM--feeling OK...tired or sleepy, but that could be anethesia leftovers...I'm not 100% sure I'm going to Davidsonville today...
11:23AM--I dunno what I wanna do--about anything...I think I'm gonna eat an early Lunch and go to bed...IF I go out later, I should probably take a shower...dunno if I WILL, but I should...
11:55PM--I took the shower, got in Dianne's car (!) and went to Killarney House.. 
THURSDAY 5/27/21 10:28AM--because FB put a two year old photo that I took on my page,  I left it there and Angela "liked" it...I wonder if any of my new friends will too... 
11:10AM--having some trouble keeping my eyes open, I don't think I'm gonna make it past twelve-thirty...I predict an early Lunch...struggling to get to Noon...
6:54PM--had a decent nap, had a dream...I was snuggling with Jessica, if only briefly...
     

 

not 100% sure about it

 

      SATURDAY 5/22/21 9AM--I had to fill out a whole lotta "paperwork" for FS/Sheppard Pratt...it took about an hour...VERY FRUSTRATING to say the least...I wonder if it was worth it...but as far as I can tell, it's OVER (for now) and I can concentrate on other things, like whatever's gonna happen tonight at Killarney House..But first there's the trip to Unique...I'm donating a few t-shirts...Dunno if I'm gonna find one I want, but I DESERVE a book or something....
SUNDAY 5/23/21 8:39AM--came home with a book on the Beatles...started my food free diet about forty minutes ago...I suspect it's gonna be a long 27 hours...the procedure could be done by Noon tomorrow...gonna have to go to a grocery store today to get Apple juice and/or Ginger Ale...
4:12PM--Dianne went out and got the Apple Juice and some kinda soup broth stuff...I woke up when she left--the "doorbell" did its' job...it also captured three deer in the yard last night at about 2AM...we hadn't been home from Davidsonville all that long...wish I woulda seen them, I woulda taken a photo...
7:42PM--the Clenpiq didn't taste as bad as I thought it would...thank you Universe...
8:29PM--the intestinal chaos has started, early if you ask me...it's possible that I won't get ANY sleep tonight...that's a MAJOR bummer...
9:16PM-- I had a MAJOR explosion in my bedroom--yippee...I'm likely fooling myself thinking the cleansing is finished...but I'm not a Doctor, so who knows? I'd consider praying that it IS over...if ya go by the color of the stuff that was on the floor, the cleansing might be finished...or not, *I* dunno...
10:05PM--about 13 hours from now, hopefully the procedure will be starting...I might not get any sleep until then...
11:33PM--not quite eight hours since I started prepping for the procedure...starting to get a bit hungry, and a little sleepy...the procedure starts roughly 12 hours from now...

getting things done OR wasted time?

 

             FRIDAY 5/21/21 10:55AM--I contacted FS now I'm waiting for their e-mail...I contacted Adventist Health Care Germantown, the facility that tested me for COVID...waiting to hear back from THEM...after my nap attempt, I'm gonna call Kanton...he called yesterday evening, but I didn't feel like talking at that point in time...after Dianne gets off work, we're gonna go stuff, including a visit to CVS...I need to get Delcolax for the colonoscopy...
4:37PM--returned AHC Gtown's call...they closed four minutes earlier...oh well...*I* feel quite close to being overwhelmed, there feels like a LOT going on for the next few days...but I'm OK...had a very pleasant (almost flirty!) conversation with a woman from Adventist in advance of the procedure Monday morning...possibly the best part of the day...
8:46PM--I just learned a hard lesson...once ya finish one of those doodles, make sure ya SAVE IT...because ready or not, each doodle is replaced by the next day's doodle, somewhere around 8PM...so I spent a fair amount of time working on two of them and now they're gone--because I hadn't saved them yet...to me that really sucks...and they're starting to look alike...

a typical day, more or less, until it turned to shit

 

      MONDAY 5/17/21 5:51PM--I'd say I accomplished nothing today, but I'm OK with that...Actually, I went to Safeway, THAT was the big event of the day...
9:17PM--suddenly I'm aware of how much hassle I'll be going through before I have my colonoscopy...it actually starts tonight...no asperin or any other headache remedies...no solid food after 8AM the day before the procedure...not to mention I may be pooping my brains out...
TUESDAY 5/18/21 10:48AM--whatever the hell his name is, he's mowing the lawn...we haven't seen him for awhile because he's been "busy, very busy"...I think the lawn could look a bit better, but it looks better than it did; maybe next time it will look even better than it does now
11:17AM--the lawn guy left, without raking, so *I* did it...so far, I've survived...it looks about the same, maybe slightly better...Dianne DOESN'T want me to even try to erase the circular pattern, not yet anyway...besides, I don't think we have any kind of lawn mower...
MIDNIGHT 5/19/21--Before I get the colonoscopy, I have to take a test to determine whether or not I have COVID...as far as I know, I have an appointment in G-town tomorrow morning at 10AM...getting the appointment (officially) is the first good thing to happen on my birthday...
8:34PM--the past hour and a half has completely fucking sucked...Modern technology is against me much of the time and I dunno why...a certain woman I know is way less tech savvy than *I* am--and *I* find that to be very VERY frustrating...I'll never EVER take part in a Zoom "meeting" again...I had a major meldown over the technical confusion...and then I thought that Dianne's cat had run away--the door to the deck was wide open...the cat is still here, I saw her in the basement...and again Dianne is threatening to throw me out if I don't get psych help...she has a valid reason I suppose, but I still think she should be more sympathetic to my emotional problems...
THURSDAY 5/20/21 10:42AM--I think because I contacted Family Services, I still have a place to live...they said they'd call me back in a day or two...I know what I said before, about Zoom meetings, but I THINK that's the way FS does business...*I* think that sucks, but that may be the only way to get the job done...
4:30PM--Dianne on the other hand, is pushing for me to use one of the names on the list she made for me awhile back...I found that to be unsatisfying, to put it mildly...
6:52PM--I just got gobsmacked by Dianne...she is going to San Francisco for her vacation--and I'M GOING WITH HER..."When" seems to be sometime in July or August...I hope I live (at least) long enough to go there and come back...Dianne is gonna do research on Hotel rates to determine when the best time to go is, financially...and we're gonna fly there!!!
7:25PM--change of plan--seemingly September is the best time to go...that's according to US News and World Report...

what happens next?

 

            TUESDAY 5/11/21 6:50PM--I need to work on finding various doctors...I don't exactly know HOW to do that...it feels like I'm standing at the base of Mt. Everest, and I'm supposed to climb to the top of it...nothin' to it, right?
   8:20PM-so far there has not been a repeat of yesterday evening’s confrontation with Dianne… I very much appreciate that...
       WEDNESDAY 5/12/21 11:17AM--I called three different numbers trying to find a psychiatrist--I struck out...IF I'm gonna go back to Family Services, I will NOT be able to go there in the flesh--to me that sucks...
12:39PM--it's starting to look like it's gonna be Family Services...I will work on it tomorrow I guess...
THURSDAY 5/13/21 10:42AM--possibly the most valuable book I own--my book of passwords, is missing...to me that sucks big time...I probably won't find it BECAUSE I'm looking for it, but I'll keep at it anyway--for awhile at least...getting nervous about my 1PM doctor's appointment...can't wait to get back home...
2PM--left the house at 12:45 and got back home an hour later...the colonoscopy is scheduled for 5/24...
11PM--it's hard for me to think about tomorrow, I'm quite tired...I suppose I COULD work on getting in touch with Family Services...
FRIDAY 5/14/21 10:46AM--went to Giant, bought groceries, got some cash...maybe I don't deserve it, but I'm taking the "day off"...I'm sure Dianne is gonna wanna do something over the weekend, I just dunno what...
SATURDAY 5/15/21 8:10PM--Dianne and I didn't do anything together today, but I think we're doing something tomorrow--maybe...I didn't mind having the day more or less to myself...
10:32PM--some guy is coming to mow the lawn...Dianne says he's expensive...we might have to get a lawn mower of our own...too many choices, and some of them are expensive...
SUNDAY 5/16/21 12:13PM-The big event for Sunday? Going to the grocery store…I think the lawnmower guy might still be coming at some point today, the lawn really needs it…
12:23 PM-Like I’ve said before, I can’t wait till we get back to normal so I can ignore the people that I’ve been ignoring for the past year or so – all my Montgomery County “friends”…
1:48PM--gotta be the latest at home Lunch I've ever had...might not be upstairs napping until almost three o'clock...
7:11PM--oddly enough, Dinner was on time, accidently I suppose...steak with a bowl of mac and cheese...there's plenty of it left over for dinner some other day...

That was fast

 

          SATURDAY 5/8/21 2PM-here I am at the Unique thrift shop, and I have nothing to shop for… after one pass through the book department,  nothing jumped out at me and I don’t need any clothing… I’m afraid I might find an acoustic guitar that’s as good as mine, so I’m not going to look for that… I’m just gonna sit here and wait for Dianne to get finished probably another hour… they are playing YOU CAN CALL ME AL over the speakers…I have enough trouble getting that riff  out of my head on a normal day…
4:46PM--we're back home...we stopped at the grocery store--I waited outside...when we came home, I got the mail...my new driver's license came today--quite a shock, didn't expect it so soon...
         Cashed in my coins, got an Amazon Gift Card, about $23 dollars worth...bought a t-shirt...it's supposed to come tomorrow...if so, I'll wear it on Tuesday's sit-in with Ray...
               SUNDAY 5/9/21 1PM-went to a certain thrift shop that we called “the doggie place” but I couldn’t find anything to read; Dianne found a guitar stand, surprised I didn’t see it but I really don’t need one… I brought a sandwich to eat for lunch and some diet root beer to wash it down with… We won’t even be at Dianne‘s parent’s residence until almost 2 o’clock… So I’m not sure if we can be home by 5 o’clock… I might do something really wacky for Sunday dinner – have Fettuccine Alfredo… Dianne has some left over from last night’s dinner, and I have a frozen one…
7:50PM--starting to think about tomorrow's visit to the podiatrist...a little bit nervous...
8:58PM--briefly had a problem with my phone...was afraid I'd have to get a new one...I'm glad I don't...how the phone fixed itself, is a mystery--and I hate mysteries...
MONDAY 5/10/21 5:38PM--went to the podiatrist...my concern about a possible language barrier were completely unecessary...he took care of my feet pretty much the same way Dr. Malinsky did...I kinda get the impression he was expecting a more serious situation to deal with...I apologized, just in case...
11PM--Dianne is being unreasonable (to put it mildly) about my apprehension regarding seeing a doctor about any of my current health issues...no empathy at all, which surprises me a lot...apparently her therapist is the one who recommended that Dianne get over-the-top angry at me...and because I don't wanna live in my car, I have to keep my mouth shut...otherwise I could bring up her obesity--which she seems (to me at least) to be ignoring...her problem is every bit of a health issue as my problems...tomorrow is gonna be a long day...normally I woulda exploded right back at her, dunno why I didn't...
 TUESDAY 5/11/21 12:17AM--Did I mention she's intensely jealous of me for being retired? I'm pretty sure she is...I'm sure she knows I can't live on $800 a month...I dunno if she knows that *I* know it too...no one can, unless they live in their car...

shouldn't be surprised

 

               SUNDAY 5/2/21 10:36AM--I just got back from the grocery store...I think I'm good for a day or two; speed was the top priority...because I'm putting a lot of miles on the car Tuesday, I decided to check the oil; so when I checked it, I found another problem--the hood doesn't close all the way, by which I mean it doesn't LOCK shut...I can't EVEN imagine why...so now I'm gonna worry all the way to Severna Park and back...I suspect the guys across the street messed something up when they were working on the A/C...
6:10PM--I finally scheduled an appointment to get my Driver's License renewed--TUESDAY!!! Early in the morning at 9:15AM...sheesh, I'll be stressed/busy enough that day...
MONDAY 5/3/21 11:02AM--got some stuff done this morning...the car has lotsa gas, and more oil in it than it had when I woke up this morning...there are four more items left on today's TO DO list and three of them are connected--they're all related to playing Music...
5:22PM--I hope ALL my Doctor's appointments are as easy to make as the one I FINALLY made with the podiatrist...the day ain't over, but it's been a really good one, especially for a Monday...
TUESDAY 5/4/21 12:41PM--according to the MVA website ya HAVE TO make an appointment to renew yer license...so I did...there was a line I had to WAIT in...so what's the purpose of the appointments? I'm not a smart man, so I can't answer that question...it's DONE. that's what matters most...
THURSDAY 5/6/21 11:10AM--finally got my debit card...I might have to go to the grocery store later, maybe I'll use it there...or not...I think I've got more than a little cash in my pocket...
FRIDAY 5/7/21 9:55PM--that was then, this is now...I've got $58 bucks on me...I need gas, especially if I go to Brian Boru on Tuesday...
11:12PM--I don't wanna celebrate Mother's Day with my ex-in-laws on Sunday, but that's what I'm doing...Dianne wants me to, I dunno why...I think there's chocolate cake...