what day is it?

        SUNDAY 5/27/18 5:22PM--I guess we both kinda got what we wanted...I didn't do anything today and Dianne went out for awhile...I think we're going to Unique tomorrow...I dunno what else, if anything we're doing...
       Feeling the way I do, physically and otherwise, I'm afraid I'll be in bed by about 10PM...

MONDAY 10:53AM- I’ve been up since 7:30 AM… I’m so tired or sleepy right now that I can barely keep my eyes open;  I have an errand to do for Dianne, and then I’m going to take a nap--hopefully until 4:30 or so...

4:50PM--I got a bit of a nap...I still don't feel like doing much; I don't think Dianne does either...I got a text from Larry Holzman...apparently there is/was some kinda meeting (or something) at Todd's house--that's news to me...it figures, somebody finally seems to want me in their band...and the idea doesn't excite me...

TUESDAY 5/29/18--I kinda wanna go to the Birdcage this evening, but I probably won't...and I just might not go to the IPO tomorrow night...there are five Thursdays in the month of May, so maybe there's an open mic at the OTWC this week...I dunno who's hosting though...the OTWC website says the singer-songwriter showcase is on the FIFTH Thursday of the Month...I thought it was on the FIRST Thursday of the month...hopefully this will be cleared up by Thursday evening...who knows, I might go to Smokin' Hot instead--IF Dianne goes out to play mah jongg...

THURSDAY 5/31/18 11:35AM--Maybe someone else knows but *I* dunno who's hosting tonight at the OTWC...I still wanna go to Smokin' Hot, if only for a little while...if that's the case, then maybe I can stop off at the OTWC on my way home...

4PM--and that's still the plan at this point in time...I wasn't gonna, but I DID send Dave a Facebook message...

4:14PM--change in plans...the visit to Smokin' Hot would be almost purely social...but Dave has invited me to be the Special Guest on some future Thursday...we'll see...*I* still dunno who's hosting tonight at the OTWC...I assume somebody does...

4:35PM--Dave and I put our heads together and came up with this plan--I'll be at Smokin Hot (hopefully) on the 28th...

5:41PM--If the weather isn't too ugly, I might go to Smokin' anyway...or not...judging from what I just read on FB, James Mabry is hosting at the OTWC...gonna cross my fingers and go there...but the sky DOES look nasty...of course a LOT can happen in an hour...

7:52PM- I have no idea WHAT’S going to happen, but I know it’s going to happen at the out-of-the-way café…

9:22PM- well, we ALL make mistakes… I should’ve gone to smoking hot… It’s a bit too late for that now...

10:15PM-so I ended up at Hershey’s... looking back on it, maybe I should’ve come here in the first place… except that Colleen is here… It almost hurts;  I guess I just didn’t want to go home; it’s too early to go to bed, I think…feeling quite left out...Life is like that sometimes...Stu  is here… Trying NOT to ask him why I’m not involved in his latest project-I’m afraid the answer would hurt a bit too much...I’m convinced it has everything to do with our being political opposites... I wish to make it absolutely clear that I did not reject him; he has apparently rejected me…

FRIDAY 6/1/18 12:50AM--actually glad I went to Hershey's...probably because I hung out with Colleen, if only briefly...mostly I hung out with Howard, and that wasn't so bad...

8:30AM--considering how early I may have to get outta bed tomorrow morning, I really shouldn't go out again tonight..

9:15PM--gonna be in pretty soon, probably by 11PM or so...it was a good, uneventful day....

not the same, but close

                THURSDAY 5/24/18 10AM--Ray and I will apparently be doing a duo gig or two in the near future...I haven't heard from Barry lately...for all *I* know, the Combustibles may be a thing of the past...and I'm OK with that...as for the open mic at the OTWC tonight, I could go either way--I suppose I could go there and not play; I don't mind not playing when it's MY idea...I don't think Dianne is going anywhere tonight...
     And  yet here I am at the OTWC on a Thursday night… I was specifically asked to participate;   so, for better or worse, I will be playing after the house band’s opening set...and I’m nervous about it... The guy that’s playing guitar now seems to be so much better than me--possibly because he plays out more than I do; I AM tired already... and  getting more nervous by the minute… I should never have agreed to come out tonight…

 FRIDAY 5/25/18 1:35AM--just got in from the OTWC open mic...got to play a bunch...the official house guitarist gave me $20 bucks...I refused it at first, but ultimately accepted Paul's generosity...I had a considerable amount of fun...and played pretty well IMO...yes, I'm glad I went out last night...but I need time to recover...at least all of the rest of today...I think you can tell how self absorbed a singer is by whether or not they throw you any solos...thanks for nothing Arlene...

NOON--considering I've gone out three nights in a row, I feel pretty good...I have NO PLANS whatsoever to go out tonight, and probably not tomorrow night either...feeling rather euphoric over my night at the OTWC...let's see how long that lasts...

5:30PM--in spite of all the napping, or maybe because of it, I'm really sleepy right now...I can't imagine still being up at 11PM...might even be in bed by 10PM...

10:43PM--take a second wind, add sugar and suddenly it's 11PM...

SATURDAY 10PM--went to have Dinner with the ex-in-laws...had a burger...I don't know what's going on tomorrow...*I* don't wanna do much of anything; Dianne wants to do something...how do we compromise THAT? On the other hand, I need to go to Unique Thrift Store and get a pair of cargo shorts...

the old neighborhood is also the new neighborhood

         MONDAY 5/21/18 12:30PM--a lot can happen in 29 hours, but I still hope to go to an open mic in my old neighborhood; it's not even two miles away from the house I grew up in...getting excited about it...I might be taking someone with me...she knows the guy running it...it's OK by me if she doesn't go...otherwise I have to pick her up from her job and take her home...I've got maps for both...

    5PM--I hope I'm doing the right thing...the car is going in the shop tomorrow so that those guys can  inspect the air conditioning...I believe the credit card can handle the financial burden...

9:40PM--trying real hard to stay up as late as possible...can't imagine making it to 11PM...I MIGHT make it to 10:30...nervous about the possible car repairs AND the open mic...nervous about going to Bethesda to pick up Sue Ellen...

10:22PM--I made it to 10:30 only because I was wrestling with technology AARRGGHH...

TUESDAY 12:12PM-- the car went in the shop at 8:30 this morning and came out three hours later...the air conditioner is working, for now...so now I can devote my time to being anxious about going to Glen Burnie--after I go to Bethesda first...unless Sue Ellen cancels...

4:50PM--mixed feelings about leaving so darned early...on the other hand I have NO IDEA how much traffic we'll run into...I'm planning on leaving sometime between 5:15 and 5:30...It shouldn't take 30 minutes (or more) to get to the Lockheed Martin facility in Bethesda...I think I'll be going against traffic...the trip to Glen Burnie on the other hand will be moving WITH the traffic...I think the open mic starts at 7:30...

7:50PM- well, whatever’s going to happen at the Birdcage, I’ll either be in on it, or at least witness it…  feeling REALLY weird ...

ONE HOUR LATER- so I played some; I sucked AND I was having technical difficulties...naturally one of my cords decided to short out at THIS particular time… I have no idea if I’m going to be able to get back up there tonight but I wouldn’t mind... I wouldn’t call the trip a complete waste of time-yet…I’d say my playing was MAYBE a “6”...and my singing was a "7"...and an old friend showed up, although he didn't come to play...he actually ran the open mic itself a few years ago...

WEDNESDAY 9AM--the people at the Birdcage were, as Sue Ellen had said, the friendliest bunch of folks...I will go back, just not every week; and probably not once the Sun starts going down by 6PM...

7:20PM- so now I find myself at the IPO open mic, where I usually go on Wednesdays;  I went out tonight because I was falling asleep sitting at home and Dianne went out-yeah that seems to make a difference to me…

AN HOUR LATER- it’s a slow night tonight here at the open mic sso far…as for tomorrow, I just MIGHT stay home...I’m certainly not going to Smokin’ Hot, but I hope to go there NEXT Thursday...

 as for tonight, I haven’t played much-but I don’t care, I’m tired from last night… on the other hand I’ve been asked to sit in with some guys on what is probably my favorite Grateful Dead song-Eyes of the World...I hope I remember to record that...

I remembered, but we didn’t play it-it DOES have a lot of words...

another year older

        SATURDAY 5/19/18-rainy days and birthdays almost always get me down...I have no idea whatsoever what I’m doing tonight...at this point in time, I don’t wanna do much of anything...

4:47PM-- and of course, now I figure I'm gonna go see the Crimestoppers...they're playing at Hershey's; I'm actually considering bringing my guitar...and frankly, I wouldn't be surprised if Emily spreads the word...other observant FB users might know what today is...
8PM- so here I am at Hershey‘s… I hope I can hang in there until at least 11 PM;  that way I could/should be in bed by midnight, more or less... and I think I can honestly say that if I don’t sing a single solitary note with the band I won’t care-maybe...I’m going to try very VERY hard not to mention that today is my birthday… it may be a challenge, but I think I can go all night w/o bringing it up…or mentioning that my guitar and amp are out in the car...
    It  was a mistake to get here  so early--I got here at 7:30 and it’s only 10 after eight...

SUNDAY 1:15AM--I didn't tell anybody about bringing my Music gear with me, but I DID mention my B-day--about three minutes after Saturday turned into Sunday...I hope to be in bed sleeping by 2:30...

8:45PM--I sang back-up harmonies on two different Neil Young songs with Crimestoppers...I sounded good and had fun...generally it was a good night out, although I didn't get a birthday kiss from any of the women that I would want to get a birthday kiss from...that may be because I kept my birthday a secret...actually Emily knew but she respected my wish to keep it a secret....

another first?

                         MONDAY 5/14/18 5:30PM--to some degree I'm forcing myself to do this...I really don't feel like doing anything...I DON'T think it's my fault, but tonight's 2nd gathering at Larry's is not happening...I didn't even find out about it until midday today...I didn't feel like doing that anyway...and needless to say, I'm not going to any open mics tonight...the plan is to stay home until Thursday evening...
           TUESDAY NOON--I was thinking about going to Hershey's on Saturday the 19th to see, you guessed it--the Crimestoppers...and then Barry reminded me that the Combustibles are gigging that night...
WEDNESDAY 9AM--the Combustibles gig has been canceled, so theoretically I COULD go out Saturday evening...as for today and tomorrow, I suddenly have a "to do" list...
      10:10AM--grocery shopping? done...haircut? not yet, MAYBE this afternoon...buy a new, bigger trash can--with a permanent lid? tomorrow perhaps, after the haircut...
        2:47PM--not much of a nap...so I went and got the haircut...I'd give it just about a "9" on a scale of 10...there's time to do more stuff, but I don't feel like it...as for going out somewhere, only if the roomie goes out as well...and I don't think she's goin' anywhere...

FRIDAY 5/18/18 1:30AM--just got home from the OTWC open mic...I volunteered to give a friend a ride home...I got somewhat lost coming home, but not totally...I may be getting a ticket for running a red light, even though I didn't actually run it...as for the open mic itself, I got to play a bunch; my  friend got to sing a bunch...I had a fair amount of fun...

4:40PM--time is still crawling along...it feels like the open mic was days ago, not last night...
7:43PM--the roomie is out with some friends...I'm fully enjoying having the living room TV to myself...expecting to be in bed by 11PM

I wonder if somebody is trying to tell me something

    SATURDAY 12:15PM- I am waiting for Jay Keating to get here--the Rockville Library-- I think he’s in charge of the SAW workshop, but he’s not here yet… A pretty young woman with a guitar and a small boombox just came in; that’s GOT  to mean something... it could be that Jay has put her in charge because he can’t be here this month...

5:15PM--the SAW workshop was a completely mediocre experience...I'm not glad I went but I'm not sorry I went either...I thought I'd get a nap when I got home...I slept for less than an hour; it was way too warm in my room...having the fan on didn't EVEN help...

Thinking about my guitar playing, I came up with this: some people are more easily impressed than others...solos that might inspire yawns from some people, might elicit gasps from others...I have GOT to remember that...

10:13PM--thinking about the SAW workshop...I guess all I lost is the $3.00 it cost to park in Rockville...

SUNDAY 5/13/18 8:22PM--*I* didn't go to the Gazebo Jam and I dunno for sure, but I doubt if anyone else...I didn't do anything constructive today...I don't think I'm gonna make it to 10PM...

11:35PM--I didn't make it to 9PM...and as I left I told Dianne I would be back up in a couple of hours...I was right...

why didn't I think of that sooner?

                   THURSDAY 5/10/18 2:07PM--it took awhile, like it does any time I use the 1180, but I recorded a basic demo of a country-ish chord progression that I came up with a LONG time ago...the Plan is to send it to Michelle--somehow...or I can make her a CD...the recording lasts barely a minute...now I'm almost as tired as I was when I started working on it...
                3:11PM--I suppose I COULD go to Smokin' Hot...but I'm tired from last night and I don't think Dianne is going out tonight...and the weather is supposed to get nasty...
              8:20PM--I think I'm going out tomorrow night...I'm trying to summon the courage to go see Danger Bird at the OTWC...I hope I DON'T ask Kennedy why he didn't ask ME to join...judging from the few vids I've seen, I would say some of the tempos need to be slower and while most of the harmonies were good, SOUTHERN MAN was not...as for the SAW workshop on Saturday, maybe I'll decide on Saturday...

The right decisions ?

WEDNESDAY 6:40PM— I don’t see how the open mic here at IPO can start at seven when there’s no one here setting up equipment… I’m starting to wonder or wish I’d gone to Arlington...
           Except that I just talked to a guy who informed me that not only will Del be here, he’s running the proceedings… I don’t think this open mike is going to start on time unless I help with the load-in; I need the exercise…  The guy I just talked to is going to Agrodolce in Germantown... and Rick the sound guy just arrived-he has all the equipment…
    Del IS here,  but I don’t think he can help me with my BR 1180 tutelage after all... but here is where I am, and here I will stay…
LATER- Michelle is here; I think I'm going to let her write words to the song that I currently call LAVENDER DAWN...anything can happen...
8:40PM- as this is an official SAW open mic, everyone’s playing originals--so I might not have too much to do tonight…I hinted to Michelle that I wouldn’t mind joining her, if she needs/wants me to...Greg didn’t ask me if I wanted to play along with him… neither did Robert-until AFTER he was finished...maybe Greg found out I was gonna be (possibly) working with Larry...they used to be in a band together...Larry sez Greg is a control freak...
         I’m starting to look forward to the SAW songwriting workshop on Saturday, a little...next Wednesday I hope to go to Arlington; maybe I’ll check to see if Andy’s gonna go too-maybe that will influence my decision...
              Suddenly I’m not 100% sure that I WILL be playing with Michelle… I don’t get it--I took a shower and I shaved…oh well...I’m not gonna beg anybody for the chance to play… and I’m not going to share any of my music with Michelle unless SHE brings it up before she leaves here tonight...I’m betting she’ll forget...I haven’t EVEN talked about my fear of standing onstage by myself...There’s really little if any point in writing songs if you’re not brave enough to go on stage and play ‘em, right?
9:40PM-now I’m sorry I didn’t go to Arlington tonight... as far as collaborating with Michelle or anyone else, maybe *I* can write lyrics to fit the music that I previously wrote…
10:17 PM- thanks to Ethan, I got to sing (the wrong verse) and play the Weight...I’m not sure that it was worth the wait ha ha...and I might have more or less confessed to a woman I'd never met that I had been cyber-stalking her on FB...it turns out her son remembers me from a Gazebo Jam we both attended a hundred years ago...and I caved; *I* reminded Michelle about our discussion and recorded the song on her phone...
THURSDAY--I don't think I'll be going anywhere tonight...and I don't think Dianne is either...she comes home worn out...I'm starting to worry a bit...

guess I was wrong--again...

                         MONDAY 5/7/18 11:05PM--the "meeting" with Larry and Todd went better than I thought it would, although I had trouble getting to Larry's house...that didn't surprise me at all...I even had a teeny bit of trouble getting home FROM Larry's...I'm cautiously optimistic regarding my Musical future...

TUESDAY 5/8/18 4:30PM--I began my period of focusing on songwriting by printing out the last lyrics I wrote...I dictated the words from memory into the PAGES app on my phone...maybe I saved some time, maybe I didn't...I might work on a new song while I'm sitting here watching Dianne watch tv...and/or I'll go downstairs and work on assembling the SONGS folder..maybe some of my older songs are salvageable... I'm looking forward (a bit more than usual) to going to the IPO open mic, so I can listen to the songwriters more closely than usual...I'm thinking that just maybe I shouldn't try so hard to write lyrics that are unusual or uncommon...maybe after Dinner I'll start working on that stuff...

9:52PM--it has taken a long long time, but I have the lyrics to the most recent song I've finished on file in the laptop...the song is roughly two years old...I hope to work on the latest one tomorrow--I've already kinda started it...I'm not sure I can or want to finish it, but we'll know more tomorrow...

WEDNESDAY--I went looking for a specific song (The Thresher) that I wrote years ago, and of course I can't find it...It's not a love song of any kind...I dunno for sure, but I'm telling myself it was a damn good one...it was about a forgotten historical event...I bet if I give up looking for it, THEN I'll find it...I don't think there's ANY way I can remember it beyond the first line or two...

3:17PM--actually, I WAS able to remember some of it...and I started another one, but that didn't last long...I'll likely go out tonight, whether Dianne does or not...

5:27PM--I'm going to the IPO tonight, but I wanna someday go to JV's in Arlington...Andy goes there...if a certain friend of mine wasn't (supposedly) going to IPO tonight, I would (possibly) go to Arlington instead...

it never fails

MONDAY 5/7/18 3:41PM--when I first started using the BR-1180CD again, I remembered having speakers to go with it...I couldn't find 'em, so I bought another pair--that don't and can't work with it...oh well, that's nothing new...
          So a few minutes ago, while looking for a certain white three-ring binder that may have some of my original songs in it, I found the speakers...they're Roland speakers which make them compatible with the Boss (Roland) BR 1180...after some tinkering, I got 'em BOTH to work..haven't yet found that binder though...I might try again tomorrow...
       5:15PM--I plan on leaving for Larry's house at about 6PM...so I probably should have dinner soon...

she is as pretty as I thought she'd be

             FRIDAY 5/4/18 10:23AM--hoping to recover from my evening out...that Virginia based female S/S got to hear a little of my guitar playing and harmonies too...I hope the guitar I borrowed sounded better in the audience than it did onstage...ultimately, it doesn't matter in the least...and I hope Barry was kidding when he expressed pride that he was the headliner--we were the last act to play...

                 5PM--I found some of the lyrics I wrote years ago...yeah, they're terrible...suddenly I'm not sure I wanna pursue that lyric writing idea...

SATURDAY 5/5/18 8AM- so Dianne and I are at the Germantown flea market… there aren’t as many dealers here as there could be, so I got finished pretty quickly… She is just getting started;  she didn’t bring her phone with her, so that will make connecting very difficult…  I guess I’ll have to go take a walk to find her…

       I think we will be home before 9:30,  if not sooner… that’s OK by me;
SUNDAY 6PM--still depressed... it started before the singer-songwriter open mic last Thursday, but being there made it a bit worse...not looking forward to the meeting at Larry's tomorrow evening...wish there was a way to get out of it...

typical, yet not typical

         TUESDAY 5/1/18 4:50PM--went to see Dr. Borelli today...she recommends exercize...so I'm gonna try to walk around the neighborhood more...I'm gonna walk over to Pizza Hut to get my dinner...and I'm only having ONE personal pan pizza tonight, probably from now on...supposed to be learning a friend's Music, but I don't have the file yet...I need to smother my feelings for her, which are mostly, but not totally, physical...as far as *I* know she's still married...Supposed to get together with Larry next Monday; HE'S supposed to send me some songs as well...

          WEDNESDAY 12:13PM-as far as I know, I'm going to the IPO open mic tonight...I THINK the roomie is going out as well...should be thinking about Dinner...

           4:37PM--gonna go to Wendy's, but I might drive, cause that should be quicker and it's kinda hot outside...and walking the dog wore us both out a little...

     7PM- for better or for worse, Howard is hosting the open mic tonight… I’m actually starting to worry that there’s no one around this neck of the woods that I want to be in a band with...

    I’m wondering where everybody is… I guess they’re going to Agrodolce...maybe  some of those folks will be coming here later...Ethan’s here...

THURSDAY 11:41AM--after a slow start, the open mic got better...I got to play a bunch...and I talked with Donate about joining her group...in other news, almost on schedule, the Junk Movers came and got our junk...there was only one man, and it took him about twenty minutes to load up his truck...

7:30PM-hanging out at the OTWC...SLIGHTLY LATER-suddenly feeling out of the loop again...Barry IS last...it’s not really a surprise, is it?

LATER STILL-all of a sudden I’m thinking about songwriting...but I should stick to what I’m good at, harmony and guitar...mixed feelings about (possibly) playing behind Barry... for one thing I didn’t bring a guitar...

UPDATE- The guy running this thing tells me that I will be playing alongside Barry because “You know his songs  better than I do”...we’ll see,  I don’t think anybody’s going to be here to listen to the two of us...especially a certain woman singer/songwriter that I would like to (theoretically) impress... I’m thinking about a batch of songs that I wrote that I found in the basement the other day… I went to check them out today and I can’t find them...IF I do,  I might give that lyric writing thing another try...

 It was a bit like pulling teeth, but Barry apparently wants me to play with him--so I will...